Subtext
by xBathsheba
Summary: A love story between Haruka and Michiru. The premise is to provide a subtext to the series with a focus on their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Subtext

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Sailor Moon.

_This is the first chapter. It's a little sketchy. It gets better as it goes, so if you can tolerate it at all, read a few more chapters and see if you get into it._

The first time I met Kaioh Michiru, I was mean to her.

Destiny. I hated the idea of destiny. It will probably always be a burden, the knowledge that everything in my life is a part of my fate, pre-assigned. It's hard to think about all that fate stuff in a way where I can still believe that I have free will. I like to try… but sometimes it's easier just to ignore it now that I've accepted that I can't escape it.

But Michiru. The reason I can accept it. That first time I met her, when Elza Grey introduced us… Even besides the fact that I was running from my fate, I didn't care too much about yet another girl having a silly crush on me. Admittedly it was a little unusual for a girl who knew I was also a girl to like me anyway, like she obviously did. I was a little interested in her because of that. But I wasn't about to let her lure me into fulfilling my destiny with suggestions of hot, sweet love and the thought of a beautiful, supple soldier girl to share my doom. Well… Maybe I wasn't all that unwilling. And maybe there were only very, very subtle suggestions of that kind of thing that first time… but I knew what was up. And I didn't give in that time.

Even then, I felt a little bad, maybe very bad, for being so mean to her, and for humiliating her in front of someone else. She looked so miserable. I realise, now that I know her, that how sad she looked, her pretty face so hopeful and then so hurt, all that sadness was just because of me and how I treated her – it had nothing to do with shame. At the time, maybe I felt worst for embarrassing her in front of Elza Grey, but now I can see that she is too confident to have been ashamed. All that sadness was just because I rejected her, not because of pride or anything else. It makes it worse to think of it that way, to think about how her downcast face was not to hide shame, but just because she couldn't hold up her pretty head out of sadness at my rejection. What kind of person makes the most beautiful girl they've ever seen miserable the first time they meet? A selfish one I guess. But I posed for her later. I've posed for her a lot of times. Every time, I think of that first time she asked.

I could never have accepted that I had to endure the burden of my fate without her. With her, it's not even a burden anymore. And even though the fate thing is troublesome, there are good parts to it. Sometimes it's wonderful to know that our love is fated. If I think about it, it's perfect. It's so secure, so fitting. She and I are destined to be together. Lovers like to imagine that words like "destiny" and "fate" apply to them, but we, Michiru and I, can use them truly.

I couldn't see the romance of it quite as well at first. The idea of romance meant very little to me when all I wanted was to be the wind – to get away from everything. Romance involves staying places, and not running. It doesn't work so well to move fast in a relationship. It's a responsibility. It requires sacrifice, and selflessness. Those were things I didn't care about at all until I met Michiru… until I met her the third time, I should say. When I thought about love before, it was different from when I think about it now that I know her. Before when I pictured a relationship, I'd be in my uniform, and a pretty girl would follow me around a lot and go to all the competitions I was in and want me to talk to her all the time. And she'd be jealous a lot and would make me feel bad and I'd have to spend money on her. She'd brag about me to all her friends and she'd be really impressed by everything I did. Just a vague series of half-formed ideas and images, really, with a different girl every time I thought about it. I would flirt with girls a lot, I still do, but it never went anywhere because if they tried to formalize anything I would be overwhelmed with thoughts of a girl, the same girl all the time, hanging on my arm possessively and constantly, and crying every time I was even a little bit mean or if I didn't want to go to a nice restaurant or do whatever she wanted… like Usagi is with Mamoru. But I don't mean that to insult Usagi, little Odango. It's just not the sort of situation I ever wanted to find myself in. There's also the fact that I very rarely talked to a girl enough times for her to realise I was a girl too. There were very few girls who would have wanted me after that. But even the ones that would have, I imagined it would be the same way as if I were a boy – no apparent benefits, and a lot of crying and spending time and money.

Right away I could tell it wouldn't be like that with Michiru. She has composure. She is elegant and graceful and would never be like other girls. The benefits were more obvious too, even when I had just looked at her and I didn't know what she was like. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, by far, and excluding no one. Every single girl is less pretty than my Michiru. I have known a lot of beautiful girls. All of the Sailor Senshi, for example, are beautiful. But even though I see them a lot, and I have seen them all in various states of undress, I am completely convinced that Michiru is infinitely more beautiful. But this is not the only way in which she beats other girls into the ground. Even within the bonds of my fate, I am free with her. I don't have to play the part of the handsome and debonair lover. I can just lie around and sleep, or I can talk about anything, or I can wander around in a dress. It is all met with the same level of appreciation and interest, subtle but unquestionable. She never wants anything that I am unwilling to offer. She gets jealous, and sometimes she gets angry, but it's never uncalled for. I always deserve it. I can always count on her being perfect. It might seem like that would make me bitter, since I'm always the one that's wrong… but it doesn't. It is wonderful to have someone who I can rely on, besides myself. I never had that before I met her.

But it took a little while before I came around to seeing how perfect life with her would be, longer than it might seem like it should have taken.


	2. Chapter 2

Subtext

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own Sailor Moon.

_The last chapter, as you may have noticed, was from Haruka's perspective. This chapter here is Michiru's perspective._

The night after I first fought beside Haruka, my Sailor Uranus to be, was a very strange night. After I had told her so much about what I felt for her, almost against my own will, as if compelled by something beyond my own judgment… she took me back to her apartment. I was hurt and weakened, so she carried me to her car and carefully fastened my seatbelt. As she began to turn away to go around to her side of the car, I de-transformed… I didn't really mean it to catch her attention, but she saw it a little and stopped moving abruptly before she continued walking around the car. I felt bad for being a flirt even when I was hurt and she was so worried. I was happy that she seemed to be accepting of what I had told her, maybe even happy about it herself, but I was scared, too. She had been so mean to me before, and I wasn't sure if she would accept her destiny fully right then – seemingly just because I had been hurt to protect her. She was very worried about me… and even through the pain of my wounds, it felt so good to be in her arms when we were in the garage… After all my planning and hoping, and my fruitless efforts, finally she cared. I had been alone… I was so different from all the other girls I had known… And difference so often breeds intolerance. But I didn't mind being alone, once I found out about Haruka, and about being Sailor Neptune… If I had had friends, if anyone had been close to me, they would only have gotten in my way once I knew. But not Haruka. Haruka shares my doom, even if she was slower to accept it than I was. In this, but in very little else, I was faster than she. She was expending all her energy and her speed, the traits she shares with the wind she idolized, on the wrong thing – running away from fate and from me instead of speeding toward us. But not after that night. At least, not as much, and eventually not at all.

She was so lovely as I watched her sitting beside me in the car, driving me to her home. My injuries were worse than I usually sustain in fights like that, but they weren't life-threatening. The blood was soaking through my school uniform and I was having a difficult time trying to lean forward so that I wouldn't bleed on Haruka's car. The pain was fairly intense, but not as intense as my excitement and joy at being with Haruka, riding in her car as I had told her I wanted to… her slender form so close to me, and her expression so concerned. I was delighted to see how tender she could be with me, in the garage, and as she fastened my seatbelt, even though she had been angry with me before… Perhaps I ought to have tried to soothe her nerves by telling her my injuries were not as bad as she might have thought, but I found myself shy, and also, I am a little ashamed to admit, enjoying her concern and attention too much to try hard to put a stop to it. I was also afraid if she wasn't worried about my wellbeing, she would begin to have doubts and to second-guess herself. Ever-calculating Michiru… But I felt my blood quickening and my feelings conquering my more rational mind every time she glanced at me with worry apparent in her light eyes.

I let her carry me into her apartment building, nestled against her chest. She is very strong. She carried me effortlessly, with exquisite grace, all the way from the parking lot to the building, up some stairs, through a hallway, into the elevator, out into the hallway where her apartment is, into her apartment, and into her bedroom, where she laid me down on her bed. My cut arm brushed against the bed painfully and my harsh intake of breath alarmed her.

"Michiru… Should I have taken you to the hospital? I don't know how to explain wounds like this…"

"No… I never go to the hospital… We heal more quickly and easily than other people. I'll be alright…"

I looked up at her, into her eyes, as I said this. She knelt by the bedside, gazing back at me. She was silent. "Haruka… Thank you for bringing me here."

Finally, she smiled, just a little, and seemed to try to regain a little of her boyish, devil-may-care front. "No, thank you for gracing my humble dwelling with your loveliness."

It was a half hearted attempt at her usual flirtatious manner. She had never used it with me before, since she was always angry at me when we had met on previous occasions. I was not sure if I appreciated being given the same status as all the other pretty girls she knew, but I stopped worrying when, first, she looked away, and then buried her face in the blankets on the edge of the bed beside me. "Haruka…" I felt warm, and privileged, addressing her by her name, although it was slightly awkward each time at this point… She interrupted my thoughts on the subject by addressing me in a soft, sad voice.

"I don't know… I don't know how to handle this. I see it is… my responsibility, and that it is inevitable. But how can you accept it? How can you give up your own life to a destiny like this one? A destiny of fighting, and pain, and sacrifice…"

She trailed off into sad quiet. I could hear her breaths faintly against the bed where she was resting her face. I wanted to place a hand on her shoulder, or her arm, let her feel my stable warmth and strength … but I was afraid of her a little. So I answered her just with soft words. "At first, I was very bitter and upset about having to give up my dream of becoming a professional violinist and other things like that. But I realized, eventually, that I didn't have to give up all the pleasure I get from things like playing the violin. I had little else in life that meant very much to me before I discovered that I was Sailor Neptune. No real friends to worry about, or to lie to about what was happening to me. What I had, I realised I did not have to give up in order to become a Senshi, at least not entirely. I was no longer able to devote all of my time to playing the violin, and painting, and swimming… But I realised that the joy I get from those things, I could get even if they were not my ultimate priority in life. Perhaps I have learned to live in the moment more because of this.

"And the fighting and the pain… Well, any life involves suffering, and in many lives, the pain is meaningless; most people are not able to do anything of consequence, they just live and suffer and die without reason. But there is meaning in this life. It is comforting, in a certain light, to have a destiny. There were philosophers who said that it is only in belief in a higher power, a controlling force, that an individual can find freedom. I don't know if that is right for everyone, but often, I think that it must be close to true… And the sacrifice… I do worry about the lives that will be lost and the people that will be hurt. The people who have the talismans have to die in order for us to protect the rest of the world from Silence. I have not yet had to make a sacrifice like that. I will, I know I will. And that is not the only type of sacrifice we will need to make. But perhaps there are sacrifices in any life. And maybe my sacrifices will be on so grand a scale that I shall be glad to make them… glad to assist the forces that give me purpose… I don't want you to have to live this life, knowing you don't want to. I don't want you to be forced to give up the way you live now, and the happiness you have… Your ambitions and interests and your entire life will be different. You are so vibrant and so different from me. But I don't know how to save you from it now…"

Haruka had lifted her head, and she was resting her chin in her palm, her elbow on the bed, and staring at me so intently that I ceased my rambling explanations, nervous again. "Michiru…"

I hoped that the way she said my name mirrored the way I said hers, hoped that she was lingering lovingly on it and enjoying the feel of it on her tongue.

She seemed to have something else to say, but instead of continuing, she looked away slightly, her lashes lowering prettily. I didn't know if I should keep talking, or wait for her to react. I lay watching her for several minutes, and the silence was broken only once, when she sighed. I was nervous, so nervous. And I was beginning to feel miserable, thinking about the life she would have to give up, and because of me. Because I had been hurt and because I was very effective in trying to convince her. But it was part of my mission, for which I knew I had to give up anything which might impair its success. But my poor Haruka… And yet I could not give up or try to protect her again. No matter what I felt for her, the fate of the world and all its inhabitants had to be my priority, not the happiness and innocence of one girl. Finally I spoke again, wondering if she was feeling sullen and controlled, or if she was looking at everything more positively. I did not know her well enough then to read her silence. I hated to manipulate her. "Will you help me, then, Haruka?" I tried not to say it in a way that would make her feel guilty and force her into it, but instead in a way that let her think about it. Perhaps I was wrong to give her another chance to resist. I still don't know for sure if love or duty ought to triumph.

She shifted her eyes back to mine when I spoke. She didn't smile, quite, and her eyes looked bright, with tears, perhaps. "Yeah."

I smiled, happy that she would be there with me, but my eyes filled with tears even as I felt a rush of excitement as I thought of fighting by her side. The sadness triumphed and I began to cry. I had known, almost with complete surety, that she would agree at last, but faced with her actual affirmation of her willingness to participate in our cruel fate, I could not maintain my brave attitude. I think Haruka was confused by my sadness. I hid my face in her pillow, and she moved to sit beside me on the bed. She stroked my hair very lightly until I stopped crying, and then she gave me a tissue from the nightstand beside her bed. I had a headache then, from crying. "Why does that make you sad?" she asked me, sounding very sad herself.

I looked at her again. "You have to submit to a fate you didn't ask for, and I can't stop it. For the safety of the world, your life is ruined, as well as the lives of the owners of the talismans!"

One tear had slipped down her cheek, I could see a trace of it now that I was looking at her again. "But you've just told me that it's not really as bad as it seems," she said, smiling a little through her sadness, teasing me.

I felt very tired. I knew that my most recent exclamation was on a completely different theme from what I had been saying until then. She brushed my hair out of my face. "I'll get you something more comfortable to sleep in," she told me, getting up and moving to the foot of the bed, where she removed my shoes, before walking towards her closet.

I no longer felt like the one in control of the situation, or like the stable, experienced one. She had to care for me suddenly, and I was tearful and unsure of myself, which had become obvious to her because of my expression of a couple totally different views. As she looked through the clothes, finding something for me to wear, she talked to me, trying to reassure me. "My life isn't ruined. I can decide that much, at least. My fate is decided for me, but I can choose how to feel about the life I am forced to lead. And I choose to enjoy it as you do. I will race when I have the time, but my priority will be our mission. And I am very glad that I will not have to do this alone, and that you won't have to do it alone anymore. We will each have someone who understands."


	3. Chapter 3

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

_This is Michiru's perspective some more, in a direct continuation of the previous chapter._

This seemed too easy. A life, full of purpose and meaning, with Haruka? Haruka willing and kind? It occurred to me that I would have to accept Haruka's fate as I had accepted my own. I began to think about what I had said to her in the garage. I guess the things I said made her want to help me, but I didn't mean them to manipulate her. I was just hurt, and scared, and I wanted her to know for some reason. But at this point I felt very awkward lying wounded on the bed of the girl to whom I had just confessed my love. She mercifully interrupted my slightly ashamed thoughts, sounding a little ashamed or awkward herself. "Umm… Perhaps, before you dress in these clothes, I should clean the wounds… Do you think that might help them?"

This was a difficult question, because certainly it would help them, but also certainly, I didn't want to be naked in front of her the first time I entered her apartment. She sensed my confusion and saved me from it. "I'll go get towels and a first-aid kit from my bathroom, and then you can call me when you've removed just your shirt and you're lying on your stomach. Alright?"

"Mm. Thank you."

The doorway to the bathroom was fairly close to where I lay. The bed is perhaps two meters away from the bathroom door. Lying in bed, had I lain on my back, my feet would have been closest to the door into the bedroom from the rest of the apartment, and my left hand closest to the bathroom door, which is to the left of the closet door. To my right there would be a window with a window seat. Next to the door into the room, on the side with the window rather than the bathroom, is Haruka's desk with her computer. Beside the bed, on the side near the bathroom, is a nightstand, and on the other side, where most of the room is, there is an armchair across the room from the computer and close to the bed, and there is art on the walls which are the colour of eggshells. Light comes from a lamp on the nightstand and a light on the ceiling, or from the bathroom. The carpet is dark blue.

Once she was in the bathroom with the door closed, I endeavoured to unbutton my shirt and remove it. The cuts in my back were especially painful. They had already begun to get stiff with scabs, and each of my movements caused me tearing pain. By the time my shirt was off I was bleeding again. I chose not to take off my bra even though it would probably be in the way. It would have been too painful to attempt to unfasten the clasp in the back and remove it, and then I was also interested in wearing as many clothes as possible in front of Haruka.

When she opened the door, carefully not looking at me until I addressed her, I was lying face down with my arms at my sides. I couldn't breathe very well, although my head was inclined slightly towards the bathroom door, but I thought my preoccupation with breathing would be a good distraction from my shyness at being in such a state of undress and helplessness in front of Haruka. "I'm sorry to be so much trouble," I said, and I heard her intake of breath as she looked at my injuries.

"It would be very callous of me to call it trouble when you suffered these wounds for protecting me."

"Hm. Nonetheless, thank you."

She made a sound something like my "hm," an acknowledgement and often almost a sound of amusement. It's a very versatile sound. Then she sat beside me on the bed again, unclasped my bra, and began to clean the blood away from my wounds with a warm, wet towel. She was extremely gentle and the pain was minimal. Delicately she used an antiseptic after dabbing the blood away, and then she waved the towel around above me to blow cool air down so that the uncomfortable feeling of wetness around the edges of my cuts would go away more quickly. I hoped I wasn't overtaxing the abilities of my body. Stitches would have been the most appropriate treatment, but I had had similar wounds which healed perfectly. I could already feel the slices, especially in my arm, beginning to change. "I hope that's enough treatment," Haruka said, echoing my fears.

"Mm," I said, that noise of acknowledgement, "I've had injuries almost as bad before, and they healed leaving me with only very faint scars. But it's unnerving nonetheless, just to let them heal like this without stitches."

I tried to look at Haruka but it was difficult to adjust myself to see her without moving my back or arm. She noticed. "I think you had better lie just like that until morning, or at least for a few hours, if you can. You need some time to form scabs."

I sighed. I was not looking forward to trying to go to the bathroom or change clothes. Now that the pain was dissipating I was getting worried and unhappy again. Haruka got up and I heard her doing something in what I took to be the kitchen based on the nature of the sounds. "Can you drink some water?" she asked when she came back in, and knelt by the edge of the bed, trying to hold a glass of water with a curved straw so that I could reach it.

I felt ridiculous, but I nodded and together we got the straw between my lips with minimal movement of my wounded areas. I drank most of the water as she looked on in mild amusement. It had seemed quite romantic to be carried in, wounded, in her arms, and to lie in her bed as she cared for me, but the reality of it was not quite as lovely as I had imagined. It had a certain charm, but it was not what I envisioned. And there was the unfortunate fact of our duties as Sailor Senshi, always lurking beneath whatever happiness we might find together.

Haruka sat the cup on the bedside table and stretched, trying to stifle a yawn. "Want to sleep for a few hours before we try to get you up and changed?" she asked me.

I made an affirmative sound, so she set an alarm on the nightstand and turned off the lights, and then she covered me with blankets as much as she could without covering the slices in my skin. Then she went around to the other side of the bed and lay down, covering herself with another blanket. The bed was not very big, but was not so small that the closeness was too awkward. "Please do not hesitate to wake me if you need anything, Michiru. I am very happy to be able to help you and I will not mind at all if you wake me. I will only be upset to find out that you did not tell me that you needed something, but instead suffered in silence."

"Thank you," I murmured, already drifting off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Subtext

Disclaimer: I continue to not own Sailor Moon.

_This is more of Michiru's perspective, directly continued from Chapter III. It's a short chapter. The next one should be longer._

When I woke to the alarm, three hours later, Haruka was already up, doing something with running water in the bathroom. She came out and turned off the alarm. "How do the scabs feel?" she asked me, examining them by the light of the lamp on the nightstand, which she had turned on as she turned off the alarm.

"Not very painful," I said, shifting muscles in my back, "They seem to be stronger now, too."

"I'm glad. I'm going to finish cleaning the bathroom while you try to change into these clothes," she said, placing beside me the button-up flannel shirt and plaid flannel pajama pants which she had left on the floor beside the bed, "And put the shirt on backwards so I can unbutton it over your cuts and take care of them later. I'll button it for you in a moment when you call me to tell me you're dressed."

She smiled, looking more energetic now that she had slept a little, and then turned and went into the bathroom again. I carefully, slowly, sat up, and first removed my already unclasped bra. My skirt was the only other thing I was going to take off, and doing so proved easier than I had feared it would. Putting on the pajama pants was also fairly easy. The clothes smelled very good, like Haruka and her house. I had some trouble putting on the shirt so that I was covered enough to let her see me, but I managed it finally and called her name quietly. She emerged from the bathroom and sat beside me on the bed, with her legs hanging off the side like mine, very close to mine. Our thighs touched a little. I felt that strange sensation called butterflies in the stomach. It was even stronger as she buttoned the shirt in the back, and did not stop when she finished buttoning and looked at me, seeing my blush and downcast eyes. She smiled a little, and took a breath that sounded almost amused, but more shy. She looked away and said, "The bathroom is clean enough now for you to see it. I'm going to make a phone call, and then, let's try to sleep until morning. Alright?"

"Mm. Thank you," I said, and smiled, as brightly as I could.

She smiled by way of an answer and I watched her walk out of the bedroom before I stood up very carefully and walked very slowly to the bathroom. When she returned, I was lying down in a position very similar to the one I had slept in earlier, half asleep again already and under blankets. Sleeping helps me heal a lot more quickly and cleanly, which I think is why I was so tired and able to sleep even though I was so nervous. "As before, just tell me if you need anything. We can sleep as long as we want, so don't worry about sleeping late. Unless you have to do anything tomorrow?"

"I don't have anything I need to do. Thank you so much, Haruka. I will do what I can to make this up to you, all your kindness and generosity…"

"You are not indebted to me. I know that you would do the same for me, and more, and I suspect you will have a chance to, probably soon," she answered me, lying down and curling up under her blankets.

"Mm," I said, pensively, and added "Goodnight," when she was settled.

"Goodnight, Michiru."

I was tired, but I lay awake for a while, listening to Haruka breathe, and thinking. My life had changed a lot when I accepted my duties as Sailor Neptune, and now it was about to change a lot again. A large part of my life had been its solitariness. I had been fascinated by Haruka for a long time, but actually having her to talk to and be with, and having her help and support, was very different. Watching her from afar had been easier, in some ways, but I hoped actually knowing her and talking to her would be better. As nervous as I was, it seemed a little like it would have been best just to follow her around when I wasn't fighting. I would have loved to have been able simply to protect her from her fate and do her duties for her so that she could lead the life she wanted. But I couldn't have borne it if she had met another girl and fallen in love. Thinking about this led me to recall my admission to her of my feelings for her. How awkward to be sleeping in a bed with the girl to whom I had just confessed my love. I worried then about what would happen between us. If we were not together, I could keep silent about my love and desire for her, but if she wanted me too… The relationship between us could perhaps help or perhaps hinder our mission. It occurred to me then that if we were more concerned about protecting each other than completing our mission, even just as friends, and more so in the sort of relationship that I most wanted, it could have serious consequences. Everything seemed very difficult. Just as I had stopped worrying quite as much about Haruka's acceptance of her identity as Sailor Uranus, I began to worry about the repercussions of caring about each other. I realised that the one comfort to us in all of this could perhaps be harmful to our mission. And then I realised that I was making a lot of assumptions about how she felt about me. Perhaps her kindness to me would not last and she would have no trouble choosing success in our mission over me. Everything seemed difficult indeed. It had been one of the strangest, most eventful nights of my life.


	5. Chapter 5

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

_More of Michiru's perspective. I feel shy about my writing._ _The dresses in this chapter are from a picture that's in an artbook. Email me or something if you haven't seen the picture, and I can try to help. When I'm working on this story, I always have a file of pictures open, and each part is loosely based on an image of Haruka and Michiru._

When I awoke to find bright daylight entering the room around the edges of Haruka's curtains, I was surprised to find that I had been asleep. Haruka was no longer lying beside me, but I could hear her stirring around outside the bedroom, perhaps in the kitchen. My cuts felt a lot better. I got up, and after going to the bathroom to see if I looked alright and that sort of thing, I left the bedroom to look for Haruka. The apartment was not so big that I got lost, fortunately. I found her, indeed in the kitchen, cooking. Eggs. There was a kettle on the stove as well, and two cups which held loose leaf tea in little mesh balls. She was wearing loose, low jeans and a tight but boyish yellow tank top. It was intensely attractive. She looked up when she noticed my approach, and smiled at me happily as I stopped in the doorway. "Michiru. Good morning. I hope you like eggs, and tea?"

I nodded, and smiled back at her. "Especially tea. May I help?"

"Have you really healed enough already to help with something like cooking? I'm surprised even to see you walking around…"

"Mm. I'm much better already. Don't you heal more quickly than other people too?"

"Oh, yeah, actually. It's funny, before last night when you mentioned it, I never thought of it as related to being a Senshi. I was giving myself too much credit I guess."

"No… If you look at it a certain way, being a Sailor Senshi is a great honour, for which you deserve all the credit you would give yourself," I argued, smiling still.

I liked the cheerful, easy way she was treating me, although it was still formal in a way. It was not too familiar, but it was still comfortable. I was very happy.

She finished cooking the eggs and served them, along with the tea. I was very shy of eating in front of her, and now I know her well enough to realise that she was nervous in front of me, too. After we had eaten and she had cleared away the dishes, she posed a question I had not really been looking forward to. "Do you want me to take you home soon?"

I had to go home, it was impractical to try to stay in her apartment forever, but I wasn't ready to be alone and without her. I was also afraid of what direction her thoughts would take without me there. I didn't want her to have doubts about the mission, but moreover I didn't want her to be scared and sad like I was. I think she understood this because of my hesitation in answering her, and she added, "I don't need you to go or anything, but I wanted you to know I could take you easily enough, whenever you want to go."

I still didn't answer, except for a sort of confused "umm" sort of sound. I was still tired and I didn't know what to say or do, and she was looking at me. "I think you should stay here and rest for a while longer," she said, and paused for a moment before turning around to walk out of the room and adding, "Anyway, I like having you here," quietly, as if she didn't quite want me to hear her.

I felt butterflies in my stomach and I blushed. She had escaped the room, so I indulged in a little excited quivering and smiled considerably more widely and brightly than I would have if she were looking at me still. I felt almost like a normal schoolgirl with an obsessive crush, as I often did with Haruka then, and before, ever since I had first taken interest in her and then discovered who she was. I was excited that she was shy around me, as I was around her. It was adorable.

When my cheeks had returned to their usual shade, I got up and followed her back into the bedroom. She was sitting in the armchair, reading something, and she looked up and smiled when she heard my footsteps. I smiled brightly back at her. She looked shy, nervous about what I was trying not to let myself believe for sure was her admission of interest. She was silent, waiting for me to speak, so I did. "Thank you for breakfast, Haruka," I began, shyly and awkwardly, then adding, "You really don't mind if I don't go home immediately?"

She shook her head solemnly. I smiled again, a little, and blushing slightly, looked away from her lovely and attentive eyes. She stood up and asked, "Shall we examine your wounds again? If they're feeling so much better, they're probably fine, but I'd like to make sure they're not infected and wash them a little."

I nodded and moved to the side of the bed to lie down. She followed me, and before I laid down, stopped me with a gentle hand on my arm, which brought the butterflies back and made the colour rise in my cheeks again. I started to turn towards her, but she suggested that I stay where I was with light, deft touches, and then brushed my hair aside and gently unbuttoned enough buttons to see my back, while allowing me modesty. "Now lie down," she said, and went into the bathroom to get the supplies again.

When she returned I was lying down and biting my lower lip nervously. She sat beside me, almost touching me, and spread the shirt open so that she could see the cuts. She was so close I couldn't tell if we were touching or not in some places. It was a very exciting feeling, trying to figure out if she was leaning against me just for the sake of leaning against me, or touching me with lingering touches. I savoured each burning touch of her fingers against the soft skin of my bare back and upper arm. I felt shy, unsure where all this would lead. The physical pleasure of it was disconcerting almost. I had had no experiences like this before, someone in a romantic scene near me like that, seeing me a little naked and touching me, and I was a little shocked at my body's strong reactions to her touch. Last night I had been too tired, hurt, and distraught to feel it like this.

She rubbed around the cuts a little with a warm, damp towel, presumably clearing away whatever dried blood and that sort of thing which might have been left on my undamaged skin near the cuts. "They really are healing amazingly quickly. It doesn't look like you need medical attention anymore at all."

"Mm," I replied, too shy to speak.

She buttoned my shirt back up and I turned so that I was lying on my side and leaning on the elbow of my undamaged arm, looking up at her. "I wish I could take a shower," I said, finally.

"Yeah… It would be unwise still, the scabs would dissolve and the bleeding would start again."

I shuddered a little. "That's what I was thinking… Ugh… The thought of dissolving scabs is not at all pleasant," I said, and she laughed at my expression, which made me smile, and laugh a little too.

"Well, at this rate," she said a moment later, still smiling, "you should be healed enough to take a shower by perhaps… tomorrow evening?"

She looked oddly expectant. "Umm… Yes, that sounds right."

"Oh, I'm glad. You see, I have to go to a party at eight o'clock, and I want you to come with me. We won't have to stay for too long, so I thought it'd be okay, even though you won't be healed all the way yet," she said, casual and debonair.

A party, eh? Was she asking me out on a date? Again I had that feeling of being a little like a silly, obsessive schoolgirl. I smiled, shyly. "What sort of thing should I wear?"

"Something nice. It'll be a young crowd, so not too sophisticated, but nice," she said, and standing up, walked over to her closet.

She opened it and rustled around for a moment before pulling out, to my surprise, a very short black and white dress. The top half was like a very low cut dress shirt, with black lace details, and at the waist it became a little black skirt with several inches of black lace at the hem. "This is what I'm wearing," she told me, looking at me steadily.

I blinked at her in surprise. She looked a little… confrontational, or perhaps just nervous. But after a moment I recovered from my surprise and smiled, slowly and possibly just slightly wantonly. "I didn't know you would dress like that."

"What, femininely?"

I nodded. Of course I had been watching her for a long time, and in the past I had seen her dressed femininely, but not in a while. "I'm glad," I said, still looking excited and smiling probably a little too much.

Slowly she smiled back at me. She put the dress away and went into the bathroom with the first-aid supplies, talking to me as she replaced them. "Yeah, I'm not trying to be a boy or anything. Some of my preferences and interests are masculine, but I know I'm female, and I don't mind it. At all."

She added the last two words as she leaned against the bathroom door frame, looking at me with her arms crossed under her breasts in a way which drew my attention to them rather obviously. I bit my lower lip and when I guiltily snapped my gaze back up to her face, she was giving me a strange look, like she was watching my face for something. I think it might have been any trace of disinterest in her femininity that she was searching for, testing me for. But I am sure she found no disinterest in my flushed face and hypnotized expression. I was mesmerized by anything she did and everything she was, no matter what. I certainly wasn't trying to pretend that she was a boy or trying to pretend to myself or to anyone that I was only interested in a girl because at least she seemed boyish. But of course, she hardly knew me then. I didn't suppose it would have been reasonable to expect Haruka to be aware of the exact nature of my feelings for her instinctively, so I tried not to be offended that she would doubt me.

Thinking of all this brought me to the realization that she was testing my attraction to her, which had to mean she was taking it seriously and considering me as a lover, which meant that when I had been wondering if things meant she was considering me that way earlier, they probably did. But then I got worried that, as much as I wanted it, a romantic attachment would affect the mission, as well as perhaps be a bad idea if we began without knowing each other well enough and later came to regret it. I didn't know what to do. But I began to realise that I would have to make sure Haruka was aware of these problems, no matter how much it hurt her, and me. I wondered wistfully if our happiness was still set to be our first sacrifice to the mission.

As I was engrossed in these disconcerting thoughts, Haruka was still watching my face in the same way, looking for something to change I guess. I was gazing back at her, these thoughts overcoming me behind my slightly blushing, shy expression and making it a little more serious. All this crossed my mind quite quickly, however, and the pause after her statement was just about to become awkwardly long when I realized I needed to respond. It was sort of an awkward thing to reply to, because although she hadn't asked me a question directly, it was still sort of a way of challenging me to tell her what I thought. "That's good. It'll make your uniform as Sailor Uranus much more pleasant for you," I said, smiling in a way I hoped was mildly alluring, but mostly teasing, although not in an offensive way.

She looked at me almost warily for a moment before seeming to understand the way I meant my reply and making a sound that was almost a laugh. "That's true. Anyway I'll take you to your house whenever you want. If that's soon, I'll come pick you up before the party, but you're welcome to stay here even until the party if you like," she said, with an expression that did not help me decide if she wanted me to stay or go.

My first thought was that I should perhaps play hard-to-get a little, to avoid seeming like a silly obsessed schoolgirl. But then I remembered that encouraging her romantic interest in me was the wrong thing to do because of the mission, and that I should want to leave not as another way of flirting with her, but just because I shouldn't succumb to a love that could be detrimental to the mission. But even right then, after I had had such heroic thoughts about sacrificing even her love for the mission, I knew very well that I couldn't reject her or even stop myself from encouraging her. And then I began to hope that it was part of our fate to fall in love, and therefore an essential part of the mission as another aspect of our destiny together. I was not quite ready to give into this thought, however. The ease and happiness of it seemed too perfect to be something I could have. But my confusion on the subject made nearly all of my decisions concerning Haruka very difficult for a while.

I had a very unpleasant feeling at the thought of leaving, and going back to my empty, silent, probably cold apartment. But it also seemed like I should go, in case I was annoying Haruka by staying too long. I also had homework. Suddenly I felt very mundane and also overwhelmed. "I think I should go back to my apartment. I have homework to do, and I have to practice violin."

"Practice? But you're still injured…"

Did she want me to stay, or was she honestly dismayed that I would still practice? I came up with a clever solution to several problems. "Would you like to come over for a little while and make sure I don't overtax myself? I don't think you enjoyed my playing very much last time you heard me…"

I wondered if it was a bad idea to tease her about the other occasions on which we'd met, when she had been so unkind to me. She laughed, and I was relieved. "I enjoyed it very much, actually. It was not truly you I was running from, Michiru, just the responsibility of my fate as a soldier. I was able to distinguish between the two even then, at least privately. I was quite able to appreciate your talents, even though I was so rude to you."

I was smiling happily and shyly, not very talented at hiding my emotions from the object of my affections, and she was watching me sheepishly, feeling bad for the way she had acted. "In any case, I'd be honoured if you played for me for a while," she continued, "Shall we go now?"

I nodded. "I'll change into my uniform again. May I borrow a jacket to hide the blood stains?"

She handed me one from her closet, a black track jacket, and left the room so I could change. I moved too quickly when I started to unbutton my shirt in the back, and winced at the pain of stretching my cut skin. Soon enough, however, I was back in my uniform and ready, but a little reluctant, to leave. It helped that Haruka was coming with me for a while, but I was feeling strange. After so much time alone, years, it seemed like I would be glad to return to what was normal for me, but my habit of solitude had been broken quickly – just a few hours with Haruka and I could hardly stand the thought of being without her again. So much for my independence – but I didn't care. It wasn't just anyone I was going crazy about, it was Haruka, Sailor Uranus, my fated companion and partner.

She was waiting by the door when I emerged from her room, and I saw she was now wearing a black corduroy blazer and black lace-up boots with her jeans and tank top. She looked amazing, boyish and stylish and lovely. My shoes were beside the door as well, and I stepped into them and then looked at her. She opened the door for me and then, stepping out after me, locked it behind her and held out her arm like an English gentleman. I took it, blushing and looking down demurely, and she guided me to her car like that.

Her driving was, of course, extremely skillful, and she was showing off. It was fun and only a little frightening; I felt oddly safe with her in control, even though driving in Japan usually doesn't feel safe at all. I told her my address and she knew how to get to it without any help from me. I wondered if she had been there before, watching me maybe, or if she just knew her way in the city so well that she could have found anything.

When we entered my apartment, on the ground floor, I led her to my most comfortable chair, and left her in it to go make tea. While waiting for the water to boil, I swiftly went into my bedroom and found a loose, dark blue button-up dress, knee-length, to wear. I didn't think anything but buttons would be easy enough to manage with all my healing cuts. I also quickly braided my rather dirty hair into two braids and put on dark grey stockings and black Mary Jane shoes. I didn't want to give back the jacket, since it would be my only token of her when I was alone again, so I left it on my bed. When I stepped back out into the room where Haruka was, she looked very surprised as her eyes flitted up and down my body. The water was boiling violently by then so I just smiled at her and hurried to the kitchen. She rose and followed me. After I poured the water into the teapot, I started to pick up the tray my tea set was on, but she placed her hands by mine and pulled it away. I followed her back into the other room as she carried the tray and set it on the low table between the matching loveseat and chair in that room. I sat on the floor and poured the tea and she sat on the floor across from me. "It's a pretty apartment. Lonely, though," she said after a moment, sipping her tea.

"Isn't yours lonely?"

"Mm. It is."

I didn't know what else to say, besides that I'd come live with her and she'd never have to be lonely again and neither would I, so I held my tongue. When we finished our cups of tea, I poured some more for her and went into my room again to get my violin. I began to play a song I had written for her, standing in front of the loveseat, facing her across the table. She listened silently and without moving, looking down, her face shadowed. When I finished that, I played two more short pieces. Toward the end of the last one, she looked up at me and watched my face as I played, and my hands. I sank down onto the loveseat when I finished. She stood up and came around the table. She didn't say anything, but she looked moved, and I admired the bravery of not speaking when the words would not be fitting. She knelt before me and took my hand and kissed it, her lips soft and her touch gentle. She rose and turned away. At the door, she turned back and said, "I'll be back in three hours."

She was gone before I could think of anything to say.


	6. Chapter 6

Subtext

Disclaimer: I still don't own Sailor Moon.

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_I'm way behind on updating. I have a lot more of the story written on my computer, but I haven't posted it. Be sure to let me know what you think, and I'll be more motivated to update. As I mentioned in the note on the last chapter, their party dresses are from a certain picture in an artbook. This is Haruka's perspective. It's really not the best chapter ever, but there's better coming._

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I didn't know what I was going to do for three hours – I just felt like I needed to get away from that beautiful girl and think. But leaving her didn't make my thoughts any more clear. I drove around aimlessly. It wouldn't take me more than an hour to shower and dress, and no matter the traffic, not more than another half hour to get back to Michiru's apartment, so I had at least another hour and a half to do something with. Driving was my pastime of choice, especially to help minimize stress and clarify my thoughts, but I got oddly little satisfaction out of it that afternoon. Michiru was all I could think about. I needed to think about the mission, and her effect on it and on my life, but all I could see clearly was her loveliness and grace. I had never wanted anyone before really, but my sudden passion for her didn't even feel strange and irregular, it felt fitting and true.

Driving past the garage where she had transformed and fought earlier, and protected me even though it put her talent and all the pleasure violin brings her at risk, I had my first disturbing realization that being lovers might impair our mission. Situations like this are where the destiny idea becomes very confusing. I found it impossible to determine whether love could be a part of our fight or not. But I hadn't fought yet then, and I didn't know what she thought about it all, and I did not dwell upon the thoughts. My elation returned quickly after I passed the garage, and I ended up driving back to her apartment, parking near enough to see it, and sitting there for a little less than an hour before it was time to go get ready to pick her up.

I drove home very quickly, more so than when she was in the car, because I didn't want to scare her even if I did want her to see how good I am at driving. By the time I got into my bathroom and turned on water for my shower, I was naked, my clothes strewn across the floor in a trail behind me. My reflection caught my eye in the mirror as I waited for the water to heat. It was true that I wasn't trying to be a boy, like I had told her, but it was also true that I hadn't been dressing like a girl for a while. Certainly I wasn't always aware of being female, not that I thought I was male, but it was a little odd to think of myself as really physically a girl. But looking at my reflection, I thought my body definitely wasn't bad. Michiru obviously felt so, and I was inclined to agree with her as I gazed at myself. I don't have as much of the feminine vulnerability and softness which is so hot in her, but I don't lack it utterly, and of course there are ways of being attractive apart from soft femininity.

As the mirror started to fog up around the edges, I realised I'd been staring vainly at myself for much longer than I ought to have been for dignity's sake, and I smiled sheepishly, stepping into the warm water of the shower. My hair was very dirty from all I'd been doing and I washed it twice to make sure it would have its usual look for the party. As I showered, I tried to feel myself from someone else's perspective, to see what the curves and planes of my form would feel like to another girl. I was pleased, except for worrying that perhaps my muscles were a little too strong and firm to be at all feminine. The jutting bones of my hips were not soft either, but I liked them. I thought of Michiru, and then I thought of her a bit too much. My stomach was tingling still as I finished rinsing myself off and turned off the water. Butterflies in the stomach.

I put on the dress I had showed Michiru, and I was pleased to find that it didn't look silly. It was very short, and it made me shy after spending so much time in boy's clothes, but it was attractive without being mainstream. I was a little nervous about it, especially since the party was hosted by a racing sponsor and there would be a lot of other drivers there, my competitors, but in a way I thought this was a good idea where that was concerned as well. I didn't especially like the way I heard them talk about me sometimes, and although I am a little ashamed that I let it get to me, I was pleased to have a chance to show them I'm not just a tomboy. The sponsor might like it too, and I wasn't sure how I felt about using beauty for favour, but I figured if that wasn't my main goal it wouldn't hurt.

Of course what I was mainly interested in, suddenly and blithely, was Michiru. It was almost time to leave to pick her up, so I put on some earrings, applied a little mascara and lightly coloured lipstick, picked up the heeled sandals I would wear later, and left the apartment barefoot. I didn't want to tempt myself to try driving in heels. Barefoot is bad too, but heels can be worse. I was a little early so I drove calmly and slowly, obeying traffic laws and practicing feminine mannerisms a little. I thought about stopping to get flowers for Michiru, but I didn't want to hurry or force things. As excited as I was about her, and about everything finally – even saving the world seemed like fun for a little while – I also felt like being slow and sure. Anyway the party was a while off still, an hour and a half, so if things were going in that direction I could do something as obvious as flowers later. It occurred to me that I hadn't asked if she minded if we went out to dinner, but that was what I had in mind.

Even though I drove legally, I ended up sitting in my car outside her apartment for twenty minutes before it was time to go to her door. I knocked softly, and she opened the door very soon after, as if she had been waiting too. She looked more nervous than happy and my spirits fell a little, but I decided to try to make her more comfortable rather than getting sulky, which I've been told I have a problem with, more than once. Her dress was similar to mine in colour, black and white, but it was stranger. The body of the dress was long, close fitting, and black, and the collar and sleeves were the strange part. The sleeves were long and flowing, and the collar was… complicated. On her it was very attractive but as a garment it confused me. I looked up and down her slim form flirtatiously, and she smiled a little, and then more so when she looked at my feet, which were still bare. "I was wondering if you'd dine with me before accompanying me to the party," I said, bowing and ignoring her amusement.

She smiled more sweetly, bowed back, and replied, "I'd be delighted to accompany you in both ventures," before locking her door and taking the arm I offered her for the walk to my car, the door of which I opened for her, although I realised that my outfit was not nearly as appropriate to my gentlemanly behaviour as usual.


	7. Chapter 7

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, except in action figure form.

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_So, the beginning of this chapter is a little annoying, but I like the latter bit. I'm also worried about whether or not Haruka and Michiru are sufficiently " in-character." I would greatly appreciate any feedback on that, or anything else. Does it happen to anyone else that you put way too much of yourself into the characters you're trying to write? Sigh. Anyway! Michiru's point of view. _

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Haruka looked stunning. My dress was too strange, I feared, but there was no longer anything I could do about it. Tokyo looked beautiful in the night with so many lights on everywhere, as usual. Not as beautiful as Haruka, but beautiful. She drove deftly, her expression happy and excited, and soon pulled up to a restaurant I had never been to. Inside we both had a lot of tea and ate a Western style salad. I have found that when I eat with Haruka, we often have salad. She told me a little more about the party – that a racing sponsor was hosting it and that it would mostly be other racers and their guests there. She predicted there would be music, dancing and too much to drink, and said we shouldn't stay for too long but that it should be at least a little fun, although there were other things she'd rather do. "What other things?" I asked when she announced that.

"Other things like maybe go to a movie, or actually race instead of socializing with my competitors, or hear you play some more," she answered, looking prettily and sweetly into my eyes.

I felt a little bad for saying more, in light of my thoughts about the possible negative effects of love on our mission, but not bad enough. "Hmm, well. Perhaps you might be able to hear me play tonight, after the party. Although perhaps that's not as exciting as racing or as diverting as a movie…" I murmured, flirting, giving her an opening to compliment my playing and tell me she'd rather listen to me than do the other things, a technique which I am sure she saw through easily, but which she apparently had no wish to resist.

"Actually Michiru, I was hoping you would suggest that."

She was playing the same game, then. She had probably added hearing me play as one of the things she'd rather do than go to the party so that I'd ask her if she'd like to. Indirectness from both of us, but not subtle. It was a very direct form of indirectness. I rather liked it. I could feel myself blushing and I felt shy because I wasn't sure which of us was coming out ahead in this flirting game, but I smiled at her happily. In a way it wasn't really a competition, both of us wanted the same thing, but I still had the feeling that one of us was beating the other in exchanges like the one we'd just had.

I didn't let her pay for my dinner, although she wanted to. I was beginning to feel like my dress was stupid, and I felt a little discouraged because she didn't open the car door for me, or the door to the restaurant, although I had reached that one before her, so it wasn't really noticeable. It wasn't that I felt like a lady who should have the door opened for her by her suitor, it was just that I didn't know what it meant that she didn't. I didn't know if she was losing interest or if she was just limiting her particularly flirtatious habits so that they'd be more effective later. This complicated interplay between two people was very different from the sort of thing I usually focused upon, like art, or my mission, but I found myself facing the challenge with the same amount of quiet intensity and over-thinking which I would normally have used in my everyday activities like practicing violin, or even fighting.

When we arrived at the party I found it was not what I had expected. I had thought it would be more civilized, and illuminated. But it was in a club, with loud music and lots of dancing, and there was very little light, just a sort of red glow and occasional strobe lighting. Haruka led me to a table in a corner where an older man sat. She bowed, so I did too, and she said respectfully, "Thank you for the invitation, sir. I have looked forward to the occasion for several weeks."

"Certainly, Tenoh. Woman or not, you're one of the best drivers out there today. Who's your friend?" replied the man, not nearly as respectfully as Haruka.

She looked embarrassed, and I had noticed her cringe a little when he said that about her being good despite being a woman. "Kaioh Michiru, sir," she told him, introducing me as I bowed again, "a brilliant painter and violinist."

"Sounds familiar. Famous, is she? Well, enjoy the dancing, girls," he finished, distracted by someone else approaching, after Haruka had confirmed his question with a nod.

"I dislike acting that way to a man like him, but I suppose as a performer you understand that kind of thing," Haruka said unhappily as we walked away.

"Of course. But don't worry about it, Haruka… the world may be full of ignorance and other badness, but it's worth dealing with, since awful things give beauty more power in juxtaposition. Like our fate… it's painful, but ultimately, noble and worthwhile."

She gave me a sort of seductive smirk, and said, "Dance with me? I need some juxtaposition."

I liked the compliment. I didn't really want to dance the way the loud, throbbing electronic music suggested, but there was no way I was going to refuse her, either. She looked beautiful, as she stood looking at me, and then as we danced, and she glanced down and away shyly. A couple men came up to us to ask her to dance, before recognizing her and then hastily finding something else they needed to do across the room, after talking to her for as little time as possible. She looked annoyed. When a tall, handsome young man with long blonde hair came up and asked me to dance, she looked even more annoyed as she glared at him, said, "Actually, we were just leaving," and placed a hand on my back to guide me through the crowd and out of the building.

I was glad to go. I had been to more than enough silly events because of my renown for painting and violin. She looked flustered in the car, so I tried not to look too satisfied even though I felt like her jealousy meant I had won that round, if it had been a competition. It seemed like she had been trying for subtlety, and had failed there. "That was very unlike the parties I have to go to sometimes," I said, hoping to distract her from being annoyed.

"Was it? What are those like?"

"Brighter, quieter, and with a much older age group… very boring," I replied.

She half-laughed. "Most parties are boring."

I nodded. "If it's just the two of us, it's not a party, is it?" I asked, flirting again.

She smiled happily. "No. I'm not sure what that is. Certainly not boring, though."

"Hm. I'm glad," I said softly.

When we reached my apartment I left Haruka in the armchair again, having trouble sitting like a girl, while I went into my room to change into something more comfortable for playing in. I chose a fitted, purple button-down shirt with a knee-length black skirt and the shoes from earlier. My battle wounds were not noticeably painful now, but I still moved gingerly to make sure I didn't reopen them. When I was finally clothed I shook my head violently so my hair would look wilder and prettier and then opened the door and proceeded into the living room where Haruka was. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Haruka. Would you like tea again?"

She nodded and followed me into the kitchen, where she picked up a lemon that was sitting on the counter and began to toss it into the air as she leaned against the doorframe. "If you don't mind, bring that lemon with you when we return to the other room," I said, and received a skeptical look, at which I laughed, a little nervously, and added, "It's something to do with my violin. I'll show you."

Soon I had served the tea, and after drinking a cup of it, I rose, picked up my violin, and began to play. I played for a pretty long time, because Haruka continued to look fascinated. Eventually she glanced at the lemon lying on the table and I paused. She looked up at me. "When I start playing again, toss it up into the air toward me," I requested, and she looked confused but picked up the lemon nonetheless.

When I had played for just a moment, she launched the lemon after asking me if I was ready and receiving my confirmation. It was challenging, not only because her toss was strong, but also because I was deeply distracted by the way she looked as she threw it, but I caught the lemon with my violin as it fell and began to bounce it across my strings and around as I played. Haruka made an appreciative and amused sound, and clapped when I finished my lemon song and bowed. I felt silly and show-offish but she seemed genuinely charmed and amused. My attraction to her was escalating, and it was getting harder and harder to resist a more obvious display of it after the hours I'd spent so close to her, watching her beautiful face, and her body in the dress, her movement a little more shy and awkward than usual because she wasn't accustomed to it… but still so elegant, so lovely. She was still partly playing her usual role as a debonair flirt, but it was different tonight, perhaps a little because of her different appearance, but I think mostly because this was serious, and she was not unequivocally the lead in our flirting. I am cleverer but also more reserved than the schoolgirls she usually flirts with, I knew her tactics already, and our purpose was different… very different. Although I had some of the symptoms of a schoolgirl crush, it was more than that between us. She knew it had to be serious because of who we were and what we had to be to each other, in every battle and in the future it was our duty to protect. I think it made her nervous, the necessary gravity of our relationship, but she was not running. She was just a little shy, and more careful. I had a great desire to touch her.

Blushing, because of her appreciation and my feelings, I sat down and poured more tea. "No wonder you're renowned for your skill with the violin," Haruka said, with a hint of sarcasm, looking at me wryly over the edge of her teacup.

I laughed softly. "Tease me all you like, but that's not as easy as it looks," I replied, using a mock-offended tone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to belittle your formidable talent, Michiru. Forgive me?" she said sweetly, looking repentant, but still teasingly so.

"Well, alright. This time, anyway."

She smiled brightly and drank more tea, but then seemed more odd than before, a bit more uncomfortable and shy.

We just drank tea for a few minutes, my thoughts very swift and nervous, until she broke the silence. "You know, Michiru… I play the piano. Will you play with me sometime?"

She said it so sweetly, so differently from the Haruka I had known before, whom I had watched and adored and twice been tormented by. "Mm," I said, feeling blood rising to my cheeks and a blush forming, "I would like that very much."

We drank more tea. Haruka started to look tense, and pensive, and then she stood up and began to speak as I rose more slowly to stand across from her. "It's late now, and I suppose I should return to my apartment. But I want you to know, Michiru, that I look forward to fighting by your side and I hope that together we find this to be a fate worth having. And…"

She had said it all in a rush, the planned words tumbling out quickly so she couldn't rethink them, but she stopped there, and I thought she blushed, just slightly. "And what, Haruka?" I asked softly, gazing at her as she looked away with lovely downcast eyes.

Smiling again, she didn't look at me as she said, "And I'll model for you, if you still want me to."

We both blushed as, to my mild surprise, I came around the table and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Thank you, Haruka," I murmured against her as she lifted her arms to encircle me very lightly.

"You're welcome, Michiru," she whispered, and I imagined that the particular feel of her body against mine indicated that she was receptive to my embrace, but surprised by it and nervous. I had wanted very much to touch her, and I knew I would regret it if I let her leave without feeling her like that, but it was very forward and I was afraid of annoying her. We stayed like that for what seemed like a long time, alarmingly long, until I pulled away because I didn't know if I could handle any more. It was awkward, and scary, but in a pleasant, butterflies-in-the-stomach way. "Would you mind if I called you after school tomorrow?" she asked after we had stood looking awkwardly at each other for a moment.

"No. But speaking of school," I said as I went into the kitchen to write down my telephone number, "have you heard of Mugen Academy?"

She followed me into the kitchen and wrote her number on the pad from which I had torn my sheet of paper. I gave her the little slip with my number on it, and she took it and looked like she was about to try to put it in a pocket when she realised she didn't have any pockets in her little dress. "Yeah," she answered belatedly, "It's the new school for brilliant pupils, right?"

I nodded. "I've had a strange feeling about it. I can sense things sometimes… one way is that the sea reflects the state of things and since I'm the Senshi of the oceans, I've been working on honing my ability to interpret it. But I think we might find it useful to infiltrate the school by attending it as students. Would you like to transfer there with me?"

She nodded, looking very serious. I felt a little bad for being so focused on her in what I feared was a frivolous way, when we had our mission to think of. She noticed my change in mood, and took leave of me again. "Goodnight, and thank you, Michiru. If you need anything, call me. I'll talk to you tomorrow, in any case," she said as she walked toward the front of my apartment.

"Goodnight Haruka," I said as she opened the door, and added in a murmur, "I look forward to it," as she stepped out, not quite for her to hear, but she did, and she turned back to me and smiled before walking away.

I watched her until she drove away and then I locked my door, cleaned up, undressed, and climbed into bed to think and try to sleep.

It had felt so good to be in her arms. But I had to share my fears with her, to see what she thought about which sort of fate we were allowed to have together. I lay awake a long time, hugging the jacket she gave me.


	8. Chapter 8

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. I do own a gorgeous new chair from Ikea, as of yesterday, but that's unrelated.

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_I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas, if that's what you're into. This chapter is Haruka's point of view. I didn't originally write this with in mind, which is why the chaptering is a little crazy. If I'm playing up the mission thing too heavily, let me know. I'm also still worried about getting out of character. Thanks for all the reading and reviewing – I really appreciate it. In fact, I appreciate it so much that I'm endeavoring to be a better reviewer myself, doing unto others as I would have them do unto me, etc. Anyway, on with it. Enjoy!_

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As I drove home I found that Michiru's shifting mood had affected me adversely as well. I no longer felt so happy and carefree as I had earlier. Worry and ill temper settled near my stomach in a little pool of dread. I began to think seriously again about our mission. I thought of how I would feel if Michiru were hurt again, especially if it were my fault as it had been before. The pool of dread near my stomach deepened. I wondered if we could develop a rule ensuring we did not put ourselves in danger in order to save each other, since I realised that one of us had to remain alive to complete the mission – even if it meant not helping the other out of a dangerous situation. I felt better for a moment, selflessly thinking of how to make sure we fulfilled our destinies best. But then I thought of Michiru – not as a Senshi but as the girl I knew – and if she were trapped, or hurt, and I had to leave her in peril to make sure one of us lived to complete the mission. I knew I couldn't possibly do it, and I felt like my insides were writhing at the thought. But if I died trying to save her, or if she died trying to save me, and then the one being saved died too, the world would succumb to Silence. We couldn't let our emotions get in our way. It occurred to me then that the only way to prevent this without fail would be to ignore and repress the emotions, to keep myself from falling in love with her. "Too late," I whispered.

With that my thoughts shied away from the frightening idea of depriving ourselves of each other, thoughts which were all the more awfully intrusive since I had been reveling in the feeling that our loneliness was never to haunt us anymore. Before I knew what it was like to be with her, to have her in my arms, I hadn't thought of loneliness as especially troublesome. But now I thought I could never go back to the way I had lived without her. Just a couple of days, and I was hypnotized. I thought about this, a little more cheerfully, but with doubt lingering in my mind.

When I got back to my apartment, I took off my little dress and got into my bed. I was depressed, curled up and hiding my face under the covers, still thinking wistful thoughts. I lay where Michiru had lain the night before and imagined I could catch the scent of her on the pillow, the scent I had learned to recognize as she stood with her arms around me. I had mostly only been able to smell blood on her when I carried her into my apartment the night before, so the delicate and sweet feminine smell of her was new to me. I felt better thinking of it, and I fell asleep trying to recall exactly what the pressure of her arms around me had felt like, with the warmth of her slender frame pressed against me.

When I awakened I was unhappy at the thought of going to school and acting like I always did. Suddenly I was in love with a girl and the fate of the world rested on the two of us. I couldn't imagine sitting in class and answering questions and taking tests. But I got up, took a shower, and put on my boy's uniform. I thought of beautiful Michiru doing the same thing, putting on her schoolgirl uniform and facing the world even with the knowledge of the terrible burden she bore. I was proud to realize that because of me, she no longer bore it alone.

Back at school, keeping up my usual casual but dashing grace, I was aware of the usual amount of mesmerized girls staring at me, or whispering to their friends as they stared. I got to class and almost all I thought about was calling Michiru after I got out and I was free of the strange charade of a day at school. I tried to focus on the lecture, and that didn't work, and I tried to think about racing, and to my surprise and dismay I couldn't concentrate on that either, even though I had a race later that afternoon and I needed to spend a lot of time at the circuit to make up for the past two days. But I realized sadly, poignantly, that my joy in racing was eclipsed, probably permanently, by a sense of my duties as a Senshi, and maybe also by my passion for Michiru. I could see my fame and pleasure from racing slipping away, and I felt a sentimental sadness about it, but I realized that being a warrior and saving the world from Silence would inevitably be more challenging and fulfilling than anything I had tried before, even though it meant change. Perhaps it was what I had been looking for, all those years I spent excelling in sports and then becoming bored with each one. I had wanted to be the wind, to be faster than anyone, to get away from my fate. But fate caught up, and changed how I looked at it entirely. As the Senshi of the Wind, I had more access to my old goal, but it had ceased to be a priority. My priority really and truly became defending Earth. Sitting in class, away from her, that seemed even more important than Michiru, and even though I already loved her, I felt better for being stronger, and I was better able to live with myself as someone with the grand goal of saving the world at any cost than I was as only a racer or only a lover. But having reached this frame of mind, I allowed myself to slip more comfortably into a daze of warm thoughts about Michiru.

When all my classes had ended I went home very swiftly and picked up the phone, only to put it down again when I realized that Michiru might not be home yet. But then I thought it couldn't hurt to try, so I dialed her number, which I had memorized at school, as I stared at the little piece of paper she had written it on and given me. To my delight she picked up, and recognized my voice right away. We talked for an hour, an hour which seemed to go by very much more quickly than hours usually do, about school, racing, violin… normal things. Only when I said unhappily that I had to go to a race did she bring up something less normal – her interest in transferring to Mugen Academy. We agreed to start the paperwork the next day and transfer as soon as possible. I was happy to think that we'd be going to school together. Which reminded me… "Oh, Michiru, do you want to come to the race with me? I just thought of that."

She paused for a moment. "Before two days ago, I would have been there without invitation. I would be very happy to go in your company."

Sometimes it might be weird or creepy to have someone follow you around like she apparently had been, even since my first race and before, but since it was Michiru, even though she started before she knew about our destiny, it was just hot. I thought it was funny that she talked about it even though I was pretty sure she was shy about it and felt like it was weird. I decided to try to tell her I didn't mind. "I feel silly for not noticing my loveliest and most devoted fan in all the time you've been watching my races. I would be very happy to deliver you personally to each race now, to make up for that. As long as I'm the only person you watch like this," I said, the last sentence sort of slipping out.

She paused before responding, and I hoped that what I imagined, her happy smile and light blush, were the cause of her delay. "Of course you are. Thank you, Haruka."


	9. Chapter 9

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. I do have the entire series in my possession, which is how I get some of these crazy ideas.

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_This chapter is so long, I wonder if I should have divided it into two chapters. It's Michiru's perspective, and it includes important events which I hope I pulled off to everyone's satisfaction. Remember, I'm really trying to incorporate everything I can from the series, including weird dialogue and perhaps things we'd prefer to pretend didn't happen. Michiru's stalkerish tendencies, for example, really wouldn't be very attractive in real life, but I'll work with what I'm given. There's also action in this chapter. Crazy, right? I'm shy about it. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and support lately! I noticed I have some regular reviewers, which is very exciting._

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Haruka picked me up a few minutes after we got off the phone. I was still in my school uniform. She looked tired, and so did I. "Do you get cold easily?" she asked me, glancing over at me as she drove.

"Umm…" I said, suddenly unsure.

She laughed softly. "Well, you should wear my jacket just in case. It's in the back seat."

I turned around to find it and put it on. It was different from the black track jacket she gave me the day before. This one was brown, and had some patches on it. It looked like something a mechanic would wear. It smelled like Haruka and I wore it happily. "Thank you Haruka. I should have thought to wear something warm."

She smiled. "I thought you had a lot of experience with my races, at least enough to know what to wear," she teased.

I figured I deserved to be teased, but still. "You know, some people would appreciate such devotion from a pretty fan," I said, quite flippantly, but her response was much more serious.

"I do appreciate it, Michiru," she told me with a serious look, "and I truly wish I had been as good to you."

I felt bad for making her feel guilty, especially since I deeply disrespect people whom I see using that sort of trick. It was unlike her to get so sentimental. Admittedly, as most girls would be, I was happy and impressed with my power over her, but I didn't want her to feel bad. I certainly didn't want to try to control her through her feelings for me. For the most part I had a more mature affection, or rather, passion, for her than that. "Oh, Haruka… Don't worry about it. The past is past, after all, and by our actions now we can shape and reshape the future."

She smiled, but wistfully. "You know, Michiru, I was thinking today in class that my new concern for the future, the future of the world, has replaced my devotion to racing. Our mission is, necessarily, becoming my first priority. The joy of the circuit, the beauty of competition and speed, is replaced by my acceptance of our destiny, and my desire to do my utmost best as a Senshi guarded by Uranus. But Michiru… why do you look sad?" she finished abruptly, glancing at me in the mirror.

I tried to smile. "It's just… This is a grim way of life. Your bright future is so altered by this destiny… And I can't help but feel a little responsible for destroying your dream."

Haruka smiled at me, sadly again, but a smile nonetheless. "But Michiru… The destruction of that dream could never be too sad when it has been replaced by something so much more important. And you ought not to feel bad about acquainting me with my fate. I would've come to it eventually, and if it'd taken longer, maybe it would've been too late for us to save the world."

"Maybe it still is," I said, watching her face as she drove.

She reached over and took my hand for a moment with a comforting pressure, distracting me completely. "No. We can do it, Michiru. We will do it."

She withdrew her hand to change gears and I sighed. "Yes. I feel you're right, but it's going to be hard, and very sad."

A shadow of something that seemed especially troubling to her crossed Haruka's face. She nodded at what I'd said, and didn't speak. "Is something the matter?" I asked, looking away in case my gaze was bothering her.

"I was just thinking about that. I was thinking last night… It would be terrible if, in a particularly bad situation, one of us placed ourselves in danger on account of the other, like you did in the garage. I was thinking how in a different situation, that could backfire, and leave us both… unable to go on fighting. If that happened… the world would succumb to Silence."

I was afraid I saw where this was going. "But what's to be done?"

"I can't think of a good system, besides hardening our hearts and running if it comes to that. But," she went on, turning to look at me tenderly as we stopped at a traffic light, "that's… easier said than done, and it's not even very easy to say."

I tried to smile, feeling too upset to know what to do. "I've thought about things like this as well. But… I can't bear it, Haruka."

She nodded. "For now, we'll think of happier things. Like racing," she added as we pulled into the parking lot.

There were a lot of people at the track. I felt shy, being led in by the famous Tenoh Haruka. All these people knew who she was, and cameras flashed as we walked by. She led me to the locker rooms, where she changed quickly while I wandered around, not looking. She sent me off to the stands with her usual confident performer grin for the cameras. Although on a personal level she is fairly modest, I could tell she enjoyed the attention. It was odd, although this was the first race my darling brought me to see herself, it received the least of my attention of any of her races up to that point. I had other things about her to consider. Like her admission of thoughts similar to the very worrying ones I'd been having, about the wisdom of being lovers and warriors at the same time. She had a good point about self-sacrifice having the potential to backfire, and I was unhappy about it. I couldn't imagine leaving her behind to suffer and die while I went on to save myself. I knew I couldn't do it, even if we weren't lovers – I had loved her for a very long time and there was no way I could ever do that, even if she wanted me to. I didn't want her to think about those things, but I knew I had to tell her my thoughts about it all, too. Not yet, though. I couldn't do it yet. Maybe nothing would happen between us anyway, and then I would have been silly to bring it up.

She won the race, of course. She's the Wind. She came to me in the stands after some of the crowd had cleared and the cameras were flashing less furiously. I smiled, broadly and happily, the feeling unfamiliar after my unhappy thoughts during and before the race. "Congratulations, Haruka."

She smiled more brightly than she had been as she approached me. "Thanks," she said simply, sitting down beside me, close to me.

We were quiet for a moment, looking out at the track and the night sky. "You've been thinking about what we said in the car," she remarked, glancing at me.

"How could you tell?" I asked, a little surprised.

"You seem sad."

I sighed. "It's a sad thing to think about."

She nodded. "Made me miserable. What's the expression? '…We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.'"

"Mm. I'm sorry to dampen the mood of victory."

She shook her head and ran a gloved hand through her hair. "I've won a lot of races. The novelty has worn off anyway," she assured me, and then, to my surprise and delight, rested her hand on my lower back.

I leaned over slightly so that I was resting my head upon her shoulder. We sat like that for a long time, quietly. I didn't ever want to move, nevermind all my worries about attachment. I wondered how far things would go, if we would slip into a seemingly casual but secretly intense routine of barely intimate gestures like this, and the embrace the night before. If we didn't acknowledge things or do more than that, maybe we could ignore our worries about maintaining emotional distance and such, I thought. After a couple minutes, Haruka spoke again. "I should change. Come with me?"

I nodded and we rose. I stretched like a cat and noticed that she was looking at me, half smiling, and looking a little shy. I could see that she was blushing. So was I. She turned away and I followed her to the locker rooms again. They were empty, except, to my dismay, for something hideous and monster-like in one corner. It gurgled at us menacingly as we got in and the door slammed behind us. "Dammit!" I exclaimed as I heard Haruka say, "What the hell is that?!"

"We better transform. Your first time…" I looked at her, as I took out my henshin wand, "Are you ready?"

"Mm," she said, and nodded.

"Neptune Planet Power, Make-Up!"

"Uranus Planet Power, Make-Up!" I heard Haruka shout, following my lead, her henshin wand having appeared in the air before her as her Senshi instincts became aware of our mortal peril.

"Try your attack?" I suggested, as the monster began to ooze toward us.

"How? What is it?"

"Try to summon the forces of air to you, the forces of the planet that guards you, and we'll see!"

The stupid monster could not distract me from my fascination with this momentous part of her life, her first transformation and her first attack, her look of intense concentration and stubborn determination an indication that she realized its importance too. Then our surroundings changed as the power rushed to her and her instinct for the words and gestures activated. She moved gracefully, beautifully, and uttered the name of her attack, "World Shaking!" as a ball of golden yellow light formed and she slammed it down and cast it forcefully at the monster.

The monster was obliterated by the power of her attack. I was flooded with joy, and my eyes welled up with tears of happiness and pride, as I stood beside my warrior love, my companion and ally. She turned to me, her face proud and happy like mine, but a little shocked and disbelieving as well. "That was it?" she asked me, with an expression of childlike excitement.

"Mm," I said, and nodded, smiling and trying not to cry.

She closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around me, rough with the excitement of her triumph. I returned her almost painful hug hard like that, and she buried her face in my hair. We held each other tightly, her body tense with excitement and lingering power. When she pulled away, she didn't let me go all the way, just leaned back with her arms around my waist, her hands still clasped behind me. I rested my hands on her hips, lightly and shyly. "What now?" she asked, her eyes dancing across my smiling face, looking like she was trying to determine my thoughts.

"We should detransform, in case someone comes in."

She nodded, and then looked confused. "Good idea. But… how?"

"Hmm… You just sort of… do. Umm… Well, first, we better not face each other because we'll be naked for a moment," I said, and paused since she looked like she had something to say, but she changed her mind, and I continued, "but then just think of detransforming until it happens."

She let go of me, and we both turned around. I detransformed quickly, and waited, facing away from her. I was surprised when instead of saying something to let me know she was back in the clothes she'd been wearing before our transformations, she put her hand on my shoulder and guided me around to face her again, sliding her hand down my arm until she came to my hand, which she held. I looked down, shyly, and her gaze remained upon my face. "Want to have dinner again?" she asked me, softly.

I looked up and nodded. "That was too exciting – I don't want to go home and be alone," I replied in acceptance.

She smiled dazzlingly, and squeezed my hand before dropping it and sauntering over to the locker which had been prepared for her before we ever arrived. "For some races, whoever is sponsoring sets up a locker like this, so I wear a racing suit with their advertisements all over it. I should have explained that earlier."

I turned away as she unzipped her suit. "Oh. I was wondering a little why there were presents in the locker," I said, referring to an odd selection of canned drinks and little toys she had pulled out when we first arrived before the race.

She laughed, and when she finished changing, gathered up all the stuff. She tossed it all into the backseat of her car and we drove off. "Where do you want to go? Anywhere in particular?"

"Umm… I don't know," I murmured.

"Helpful," she said, teasing me again, "Hmm. Would you mind coming back to my apartment? I can cook something."

Butterflies. "That sounds nice. Out of the public eye."

"Yeah. Sometimes right after a race things can get out of hand with the press if I go out."

We were soon at her apartment building, and this time I walked into the building and got into the elevator and down the hall to her apartment on my own, not in her arms like last time. This time, I just wished I was in her arms.

She cheerfully cooked some very attractive omelets with little halved cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and white cheddar cheese. I was slightly surprised by her somewhat Western selection. I was also surprised at how well she cooked. After omelets she made salad, having forgotten to do it before. Then she made a pot of tea and we sat next to each other on her couch in the room of the apartment that was neither her bedroom nor the kitchen, but that lay between the two. We talked, and exclaimed over how exciting the fight had been, and drank tea. We continually drew closer together until I was leaning on her again and her arm was behind me, around me, lying along the back of the couch. I felt warm and happy and incredibly pleasant, being so close to her, having a cheerful conversation with her, learning more about her and being more myself than I had been around her before. We came to a lull in the conversation, and I was enjoying how lovely it was to rest my head on her shoulder and feel her arm around me and not feel alone for the first time I could think of in years. "Michiru?" she said, looking at me as best she could at such close proximity.

"Mm?"

"Come see the view from my bedroom window," she said, straightening and rising and taking me by the hand to lead me to the window.

In her room, she opened the curtains and fastened them at either side of the window. We looked out at all the lights. It was a pretty view. Neither of us said anything, gazing thoughtfully out at the cityscape, each acutely aware of the other, until Haruka turned to face me and I turned shyly toward her. She hadn't let go of my right hand since she led me in, and now she laced the fingers of our other hands together too, and looked into my eyes, the lights from outside barely illuminating us. I gazed lovingly back, undistracted by the flickering lights and shadows playing across her face. As the tension between us rose, the butterflies in my stomach danced wildly and my heartbeat began to come close to matching their excitement. Mine and Haruka's breathing became faster, and the attraction between us felt exquisitely strong. I couldn't move. She leaned down and kissed me softly, just pressing our lips together before pulling back a little and looking at me again, shyly. I leaned in and kissed her then, my limbs shaking and my body tingling. She pulled me close against her, kissing me, her arms around me now and mine around her. I pulled away after a long time, wanting to see her face. She smiled at me, rather tenderly, and then she pulled me down to sit on her lap in the window seat. We held each other like that, silently, for a long time.

"I've never kissed anyone else before," Haruka whispered into my hair, finally breaking our silence.

"Really? In all your flirting, it never came to that?" I asked in surprise, pulling back to look at her quizzically.

"Never."

I smiled brightly, still surprised. "I'm glad."

Very glad, I could have added. Not only because of the superficial satisfaction of knowing she was untouched, but because it seemed to me, then, that this strengthened the possibility that we were fated for each other and no one else. Perhaps that is immature, but I like to think I'm right about it.

She was quiet for a moment, and then asked softly, "Had you?"

"Had I what? Kissed anyone before?"

She nodded, and held me tighter. "No, of course not," I assured her, wondering briefly what kind of girl she thought I was.

"I'm glad," she whispered, so quietly that I barely heard her, although her contented sigh was quite distinct.

"But Haruka… Would you have been jealous?" I asked, my tone surprised, teasing her a little.

She didn't reply for a moment. "…Perhaps."

I turned to face her, and whispered, "Only you…" which made me feel silly until we kissed again.

I broke the kiss to move off her lap, afraid she would lose circulation to her long, lovely legs, and then we sat and talked and made out for a couple of hours. I was in a sensual ecstasy, the feel of another person, and Haruka at that, touching me, caressing me, kissing me, for the first time, was shockingly, wonderfully amazing. I had felt that wonder a little when she was dressing my wounds, and intentional caresses were far more intense. She seemed to be in a daze as well, her replies in our intermittent conversation coming after slight delays, and her usual air of self-sufficient confidence having given way to a languid, blushing state as I touched her face and hands or kissed her warm mouth.

Finally I began to get very tired, not in a way that meant I would want to leave, but she noticed nonetheless and glanced at the clock. "Michiru," she said, even the thought of her tongue moving to shape the syllables of my name making me quiver, "it's midnight."

"Mmm," I breathed, "We'll be tired at school."

"I'll fall asleep in class and dream of these hours with you," she said, winding her arms around me and kissing my hair.

"That's sweet, Haruka… But no matter how tired we are, we have to remember to inquire about the paperwork for transferring," I reminded her, suddenly recalling the world outside her room.

She sighed. "I hope there's no trouble about that."

"I'm fairly certain we'll manage it. If it's important… Things that are important for our duties as Senshi have an odd way of working out surprisingly well."

"Hmm…" she sighed, "I guess I should take you home. I'd have you stay here, but I think your uniform is a little too wrinkled to wear to school."

I sighed too. "I'm sorry you have to go out at this hour."

"Anything for you, Michiru," she said, flirtatiously, as she stood up and offered me her hand.

I took it and we walked out to the car with her arm across my shoulders and mine around her waist. When we arrived at my apartment, she walked me to the door and we didn't kiss again, but she hugged me and we held each other tightly for a long time, until she abruptly let go and ran off a couple steps. "I'll never leave if I don't go now," she explained, with a half-smile.

I laughed, kind of. "What're you doing after school?"

She shrugged. "Nothing?"

I shook my head. "Not if I have anything to do with it!" I said flippantly, and added more solemnly, "We should start looking for talismans and assessing Mugen Academy. The term ends soon, and I'd like to start there next term if at all possible."

"Alright. I'll go see a counselor in the morning, get the transferring started, and try to stay awake during lectures," she said, grimacing, "and then I'll call you when I get out of class," she finished, more brightly.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Now that you've transformed, you should have a communicator like mine," I said, holding it up.

She felt around in her pockets, and held hers up triumphantly after a moment of searching. "Here it is. But I'm surprised I didn't notice it earlier," she said, looking concerned.

"Mm. Senshi related stuff really works oddly. There is a lot of strange magic involved in keeping anyone from recognizing us, and helping us get away with fighting and that kind of thing. And of course, there's our healing ability," I told her, reaching toward my healing wounds and feeling them.

"Amazing," she murmured, intrigued by the communicator, and looking up just as I heard mine go off and saw her face on it as I answered the call.

I smiled at her image, and then smiled at her standing a couple meters away from me. Then she ran back up to me and hugged me again before breaking away and running off farther this time. "I'll call you on this after school, and if you like, I can pick you up at the student drop-off thing."

I smiled happily. "I always take the bus. No one has ever picked me up there before," I told her.

"Well, I look forward to being the first," she said, and backing up a little more without breaking our eye contact, added, "Goodnight, Michiru."

"Goodnight, Haruka," I replied, but we continued standing and looking at each other.

"Go inside! It's cold and late."

I laughed. "Fine. Drive safely!"

"Of course! Goodnight," she said again, and I went in even though she still stood watching. Through my window I saw her wave again as she got into her car and left.


	10. Chapter 10

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

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_Thanks for all the reviews on Chapter 9! I love reviews._

_Sorry it's taken me so long to post a new chapter. I've been sick and busy, but here's this one, such as it is.  
_

_In response to tigonookami: The series indicates that Michiru knew for a while before their meeting that Haruka was Sailor Uranus, and therefore that she wouldn't always be working alone. Like Rei/Sailor Mars, Michiru has a gift for premonition, so I'm going to assume she gets information about her duties and in this case, accessories, from dreams or visions. I think we'll see some of that in future chapters. As for how fast things are happening between them… I'd like to hear more specifics on your problem with that, if you have a moment. It'd also be nice if you signed in, so we could have this conversation somewhere else. Anyway. This one is Haruka's point of view._

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My lips burned with the memory of Michiru's kisses as I drove back to my apartment. When I got in, I didn't feel like going to sleep, so I took a shower. It would save me time in the morning, so maybe I could go to the office at school before class and inquire about transferring to Mugen Academy. I wanted to know as soon as possible if I could transfer when the new term started. Mugen Academy was allegedly founded with the idea of bringing together the brightest students in the country and from overseas. Not to sound egotistical, but I didn't doubt that they would consider Michiru and me exactly what they wanted, since we are not only academically talented – we're famous.

Most of my shower was spent not thinking about the technicalities of the transfer, or the mission, but about Michiru. I remembered the exquisite feel of her body in my arms, her softness and grace. And the taste and scent of her, her soft lips opening under mine, and her body pressed against me, her arms around me, strong but gentle, and her breathless whispers when we spoke between kisses. Remembering, I lost track of time, and then after a while I found myself standing in the shower, eyes closed and arms crossed tightly, hugging myself under the flow of warm water. I roused myself from my daze, washed my hair, and then got out and finished getting ready for bed, tired finally.

The next morning, as Michiru suspected I would, I found it surprisingly easy to get the transfer process started. In the office they even suggested that I call Mugen Academy myself with their telephone to alert them of my interest, which I realized I should have done before. But in general, it went well. Both parties assured me that I would in all likelihood begin the new term there, assuming I passed the entrance exams, which I was unconcerned about. My classes seemed interminable because I was so eager to leave and pick up Michiru. Finally I was able to go, and I hastily made my way to Michiru's school. She was waiting prettily in front of a school building in a student drop-off area, alone. In her free time, she is almost always alone, unless she's with me. I saw several groups of girls staring curiously as she got into the car and smiled brightly at me. They commenced talking about it almost immediately – I could see in my rearview mirror as they pointed and chattered. It irritated me – dull, gossipy schoolgirls fascinated by things that aren't any of their concern.

"I got my transfer proceedings underway," Michiru said, as we turned away from the school and onto the main road.

"Oh yeah? So did I. Should we head over there and check it out?"

"Mm," she said, "but we should be very cautious. I don't want us to look suspicious before we even start there, especially since we might be engaged in some pretty suspicious activities there later on. If the place is what I think it might be."

"And what exactly do you think it might be?" I asked, still unsure about the particulars of our mission, as, it turned out, Michiru was also.

"Well, I'm not sure yet, but I feel something about this place – something grander and more threatening than the youma I'm used to."

We arrived at Mugen Academy and walked around the campus, memorizing its layout and trying to look casual. "Nothing looks suspicious yet," I ventured to say as we finished our lap around the school.

"Hmm. Not overtly… but I feel something about it. Don't you?"

I tried to focus my understanding of the elements that protect my planet and use them to gain insight into the world around me, but it usually doesn't work as well for me as for Michiru. "I'm not sure. I reckon you're better at that than I am."

"It just needs practice. I know you're sensitive enough for it."

I wasn't so sure, not that I didn't appreciate the compliment. "Let's go check out the areas where we've seen youma to make sure they're still safe, for lack of a better idea," I suggested, and she nodded in assent, so we strolled back to the parking lot.

Before I started the car, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I glanced at her and half-smiled, trying to remember that I cared very, very much about privacy and secrecy. She watched me for a moment, then kissed my cheek again, and then my lips, and bit the lower one gently. I shivered. She sat back in her seat, her expression demure and aloof again. But the pink still lingering in her cheeks gave her away. I smiled to myself and pulled out onto the main road, heading toward the garage where she'd been injured.

We pulled in and it was deserted, so we headed for the circuit where we were attacked the day before. We parked, and wandered around, looking for anything suspicious. We found nothing and ended up leaning against the fence around the track, looking out at it and talking. I talked a little about racing and how much I loved it, which I talk about too much, and I could see her getting uncomfortable and wistful. I tried to save the situation by going into how happy I am to be saving the world now, but it was too late. I felt a sense of foreboding as I looked at her cold, sad, beautiful face.

"Let's go back to Mugen Academy, Haruka. The sea is unquiet."

My feeling of foreboding increased, but I offered her my arm and we walked back to the car. At the passenger door, we stopped and I moved so that I was facing her, clasped my arms around her waist, and leaned down to kiss her upturned face. I kissed her cheekbones and her forehead, her temples and hair, and the place at the side of her throat where I could feel her pulse against my lips. Soon I caught her in a long kiss and held her close against me, savouring the feel of her slim, feminine form in my arms. When we broke our kiss, she rested her head on my shoulder, against my neck, and we stood like that, unwilling to get back in the car and face whatever she sensed. It was getting dark. The sun was almost down, and the sky was streaked with the colours of sunset still lingering in the west as evening encroached upon them, pink and purple and darkness.

"Are your premonitions ever wrong?" I asked her as I opened the door and she got in.

"No," she said softly, and I sighed as I climbed into the car myself.

The drive seemed short, immersed in thought as I was, the silence between us heavy, noticeable, but not specifically unpleasant. When we reached Mugen Academy, she led me by the hand to the side of the main building, and suddenly as we walked we became aware of first a crashing sound, and then a scream. "Transform!" Michiru cried, as she took her henshin wand out of her pocket, and I followed her lead.

In uniform, we ran toward the sound. We could hear a dog barking wildly, and as we approached, we saw a young woman cowering on the ground, trying to protect her little black dog from something much like the monster in the locker room, but with spines. It sprayed a shot of needlelike spines at the woman, but she ducked down farther in time and they stuck in the wall of the building next to the victims. "Move the girl and the dog while I destroy the monster!" I yelled back as I ran ahead of Sailor Neptune to get between the monster and the woman before she was attacked again, but once there, I found I didn't have space to perform my attack. I tried to get the monster to back down with kicks and punches, and I had some limited success, as I tried to listen to what the young woman and my partner were saying, to figure out if she was alright.

I suspect my distraction, from trying to hear their conversation, largely caused the terrible events of the next few seconds. As I prepared to perform my attack, finally having pushed the monster far enough away from the girl, I heard her scream again, and looked around me. I should have seen it before, but off to the side there was a second monster which had initially been hidden behind the building. It was on my left while Sailor Neptune and the victims were on my right. I decided, stupidly, that it could wait, and continued with my World Shaking! attack even as I became aware of Sailor Neptune moving behind me. The first monster was obliterated by my attack like the one in the locker room, but I had not a moment to enjoy my success before I heard Neptune's scream of pain. She had gotten between me and the other monster, but she hadn't been swift enough performing her attack, or else it had gotten the better of her as she tried to fend it off, and now it bore down upon her, having sent spines sailing into her left side. I saw her Sailor fuku torn, blood stains expanding dark around the spines, as she lay weakened on the ground. Fear shocked through me like physical pain. I attacked the monster viciously, nearly dismantling it with just the ferocity of my manual attacks, and it backed away far enough from Neptune that I felt like she'd be safe from my attack, which neatly destroyed the monster. Without waiting even half a second to watch it melt away, I turned back and fell to my knees beside Neptune. She was conscious. "I don't know if I should pull the spines out, or if that'll cause too much bleeding…" I thought aloud, feeling hysteria welling up within me.

"They're not too deep…I want them out…"

As I considered what Neptune murmured, I heard footsteps, and the dog's frightened whimpering getting closer. "Excuse me… I can help," the young woman we'd just saved said quietly as she approached us, her dog following her closely.

I nodded, not looking up as she knelt on Neptune's other side. Perhaps she saw my hands shaking, or recognized the terror in my expression, because she laid a hand on one of mine restrictively as it hovered near Neptune's injury, and looked at me. "I am training to be a nurse. Please allow me to do this," she said, firmly but also kindly.

I nodded again, thinking this turn of events was almost too fortunate to be true, and watched as she proceeded to tear Neptune's fuku a little more, blotting away some of the blood with her sleeve. Her dog sat huddled against her, and like me, watched her hands as they worked on Sailor Neptune. I took hold of her hand, and found it to be shaking as hard as mine. I brushed her bright hair out of her face and winced, feeling ill, as the young woman gently pulled each spine out. Neptune squeezed my hand hard, her nails cutting into my skin a little as she felt the projectiles pulled out of her flesh. There were eight spines, only a little wider than needles, but much longer. "It looks like none of them went in very deep," the girl reassured us as she pulled out the last spine.

"Thank you. How can I repay you?" I murmured, still feeling awful.

The girl bowed a little, and replied, "How can you think of repayment, when you have just saved my life, and my dog's? This is nothing compared to what I owe you."

"Tell me then, what else can I do for her, to treat the wounds?"

Neptune tried to sit up then, but made very little progress. "Uranus, don't worry, I'll be alright…. Just take me home," she said faintly.

I was angry in the aftermath of fear by then, and felt I knew what I must do. The girl said I should take her to a hospital, and I thanked her again, and rose with Neptune in my arms.

I held her tightly as I watched to make sure the nurse-to-be left the campus safely, and then carried her to my car. We were both detransformed when I got into the car myself. She sat, staring ahead, looking more herself in clothes that weren't torn. She seemed to be in pain but alert, and seemingly not poisoned, which was something I had worried about briefly from the look of the spines. Now came the time to say what, moments before, I had realized I must say. "Michiru."

She looked at me, fearful of my tone, knowing, perhaps, what was coming. "Haruka…"

"You could have been killed! And for me!"

She sighed, sadly. "Well, I have the right to fight youma," she said weakly.

"Cautiously! You can't just throw your body in between me and murderous youma!"

"Haruka…" she said softly, and looked at me.

I looked back at her expectantly, mad and scared, trying to ignore the allure of her beauty and fragility. She continued. "It was stupid of me to go about it like that. I should have attacked from a different angle; I shouldn't have put myself in a position to take a blow for you."

I nodded, tears in my eyes. "Michiru. I can't bear this kind of thing. I can't! We have to change something. We have to try to harden our hearts. The idea feels awful, but I can't just tell myself it's because it's not our fate to be apart. It could seem awful solely because I want to be close to you so badly, and I can't risk that being the only reason!"

She closed her eyes, looking mournful and frail. "Alright, Haruka. We'll try that."

Tears escaped me, though I tried to prevent them. "Tonight we should stay together, in case your injuries get worse. Which apartment would you rather be in?"

"Yours."

I drove off, full of grim thoughts as I sped home, wishing Michiru wasn't looking miserable beside me. "We'll just try it," I said, as I pulled into my parking space.

She nodded. "If it doesn't help, it's pointless, and we might as well not keep it up, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, and felt better immediately, before realizing that if I wasn't serious about it, it wouldn't work at all and wouldn't be worth the effort. So I tried again to be resolved as I went around to her side of the car, opened the door, and picked her up, glaring at her for her protest that she could walk.

Like that other recent time, I carried her all the way in, and laid her down upon my bed. She rested there quietly while I brushed my teeth and changed, and then I helped her get ready for bed as best I could, giving her flannel pajama pants and a loose t-shirt before leaving the room so she could be alone to change. I came back in after a few minutes spent cleaning up my kitchen. "Do you need anything, Michiru?" I asked, setting down a glass of water beside her on the nightstand.

She shook her head as I sat down beside her on the bed with a warm, wet washcloth. "May I see your side? Does it need to be bound or treated in any way, except for the cleaning I'm about to do?" I asked as she pulled up her shirt, exposing her pale stomach and ribcage, the dark red, drying puncture wounds startling against her white skin.

She shook her head, wincing as I started to rub away the drying blood as gently as I could. As I worked, we talked about morning, and agreed that she would stay home from school but that I needed to go, so I would take her to her own apartment in the morning, go to school myself, and then come over to check on her after my classes. When I finished I left her as comfortable as she could be, trying to sleep, and went to take a shower, wanting to avoid any more painful conversation, and needing to think things over more thoroughly.

In the shower, I sat on the floor and let the water run over me, thinking hard about what had happened and what we decided to do about it. Looking back on it, I'm sure I knew even then, at some level, that I was being stubborn and stupid. But I suppose we had to try it, the not being together thing. Well, I should say I suppose I had to try it, not we. I don't think Michiru ever really thought it was a good idea. She was just trying to be good to me, which I appreciate. But in the shower I came to the definite conclusion that I had to try it, and try it seriously, although I admitted to myself that I couldn't be sure it was the right thing to do. I thought of kissing her, and couldn't imagine never kissing her again. But after the fighting, I told myself.

I came out of the shower and Michiru was asleep, beautiful and pale. She did not look peaceful. Her face was shadowed and drawn, and I lay beside her and watched her for a long time before sleep overcame me. I did not dream, and slept only fitfully. I awoke long before the alarm, got up, got dressed, and made breakfast to bring to Michiru in bed. She was awake when I brought it in, lovely and not so unhealthily pale as the night before. We ate together, but only talked a little. After I did the dishes, I drove her home. We checked her battle wounds again, which looked better, and I left her curled up in her armchair, wrapped in a blanket. I made sure she had a stack of books beside her, as well as some snacks, a glass of water, and a pot of tea all within easy reaching distance. I didn't want to leave, but she insisted that I go to school, that she'd be fine, and that she'd take good care of herself in my absence. So I left, and completely preoccupied, drove to school and moved from class to class in a daze.


	11. Chapter 11

Subtext

Disclaimer: In my long absence, I have _not_ acquired Sailor Moon.

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_Oh my. I haven't updated in almost three weeks. Sorry about that! I've been reading a lot, and my winter break ended, so I've been going to school and working. But I reckon I'll be able to find more time for fanfiction now that I've gotten used to all that._

_This one is Michiru's point of view. I think it's cute._

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I was about ready to stab myself with eight potentially venomous spines, as punishment for my stupidity in that battle, but I resisted the impulse and instead sat in my apartment quietly all day after Haruka left. I tried to read, but instead I sat brooding, feeling moody and forlorn. I knew I had to win Haruka back – that much was obvious to me. We could try distancing ourselves from each other, but I think, by then, I knew there was no point. I also knew, however, that I had to prove to Haruka that I could put the mission first even while being actively in love with her. I hoped it wouldn't take more than a few more battles, because I already missed her attentions, her touches and soft words, and the awareness of having her as mine. I did not despair, feeling fairly certain that things would bet better, but I was still depressed by my lack of forethought in battle. The brilliant Kaioh Michiru, wounded in two of her three most recent battles, and this most recent one completely and utterly unnecessarily. It was frustrating. I had hardly done anything besides sit moodily, pondering my ridiculousness as I stared blankly at a page in a book, when I heard Haruka knocking. I was surprised at how quickly the time had gone. Self-deprecation, something I rarely have reason to engage in, is apparently time-consuming.

She looked weary and upset when I opened the door, dark smudges under her light eyes. I tried to smile brightly, but I think the negativity of my thoughts all day probably showed through. "How was your day at school?" I asked her.

"Fine. How was your day?"

I shrugged, as she followed me back into the apartment. "Uneventful. Let's go out and patrol for youma. And we need to figure out how to find talismans," I reminded her, looking at her now as we stood in the kitchen where I was about to make some tea.

She frowned at me. "Michiru, you need to rest more."

I shook my head. "Horrible things could happen to innocent people while I'm here not doing anything, and anyway, I feel fine."

Haruka sighed. "I could go out alone."

I shook my head again. "I've been resting all day. I'll be fine. Let's have some tea and then go."

Haruka sighed again, sitting at the little kitchen table now, her head in her hands. I looked at her, eyes narrowed, and said teasingly. "You know, Haruka, maybe you should rest, and I should go out alone. You look exhausted."

She didn't say anything, but glared a little. I smiled to myself as I prepared the tea. We drank it in silence, and I got up to get dressed after I finished mine. A moment later I came back into the kitchen, wearing jeans and a long, low cut white t-shirt, my hair in loose braids again, which I hoped would accentuate my partly exposed shoulders and throat. Haruka looked at me for a moment, and smiled, wanly, but I was still glad to see it. I smiled back, trying to look as cheerful and unwounded as possible. "Ready to go, Haruka?"

She nodded, and got up. She still offered me her arm as we walked out to her car, and she opened the door for me. I was confused by this, and suddenly wished mightily that we could just forget about the idea of trying not to be in love.

"Where should we start?" Haruka asked, her voice breaking up my mildly irritable thoughts.

"I don't know. Unless you have any particular ideas, I think we should drive around and see what happens."

She agreed, and drove in the general direction of Mugen Academy. Driving past it, we noticed that there were still many students around, on their way to clubs or stopping to talk to other students. It looked peaceful, so we moved on. I resisted my great desire to put my hand on Haruka's as it rested on a lever between us.

We drove around for a while, and stopped to have dinner at a small ramen place. Everything had been uneventful. "Let's wander around a bit longer, and then maybe we should go home and do homework, alright?" Haruka suggested as we left the restaurant, and I nodded.

This time we quickly found ourselves in a slightly less reputable part of Tokyo than we were used to. I noticed some sort of altercation going on down a side street, and Haruka looked suspiciously down that street before turning so we could investigate more thoroughly. "This might not be anything we want to be involved in," she said, warningly, and I agreed.

As we approached the scene, however, it turned out to be a youma, attacking what may or may not have been a prostitute, with a group of perhaps ten other men and women surrounding, watching without any idea of what to do. I was considerably more thrilled than usual to see a youma, since it meant an opportunity to prove myself to Haruka. Unaware of my fairly inappropriate thoughts, Haruka turned into a deserted parking lot and parked in the corner, where we could transform unnoticed. From there we ran to the scene of the attack, and this time, since there was such an audience, and since Sailor Uranus had more experience than before, I decided I ought to do my introduction, immediately after I aimed a kick at the youma, distracting it from its prey. "Appearing gracefully, Sailor Neptune!" I said, and looked at Sailor Uranus, thinking I should have given her a chance to prepare for this.

She frowned at me a little, not quite a glare, but her surprise and her sense of this being totally irrelevant were apparent in her expression. "And appearing… umm… elegantly! Sailor Uranus!" she announced, looking at me in a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

"Vicious monsters, thinking they can attack young women on the streets! Our ferocity knows no bounds when we find ourselves confronted with such travesties!" I elaborated, remembering happily how I was always impressed with the things I came up with to shout before battle, things which ranged widely from lyrical to completely ridiculous.

"Fiend, prepare to meet your end for your presumption!" Haruka shouted, getting into it now and launching a manual attack on the youma's toothy anterior, as I ran around to get it from behind.

As we confused it by running around it, attacking from every angle, the youma completely forgot about its former victim, who was helped to safety by one of the group that had surrounded the scene when we approached. After a couple of minutes it seemed to start to tire, and to get more desperate. In its now wild counter-attacking, it almost hit Sailor Uranus, and I decided I wanted to finish it. "Uranus, please go check on the girl!"

I saw, just for a second, the look she gave me. It was hard to read, but I felt distinctly that she was onto me and my ploy to get her back. But she acquiesced, and I gathered the forces of the sea to myself, uttered the words of my incantation, "Deep Submerge!" and directed the power of my attack at the youma, which dissolved.

Sailor Uranus came to my side as the monster vanished. "The girl is fine," she said, looking at me, taking in my proud smile and posture as I realized that this was the first time she had seen me win a fight without injury. I had twice been injured in battle with her, although once I also defeated the youma, and another time, I hadn't even fought. She had never seen me glorious in the aftermath of a battle well-fought, unharmed and ready to keep going if necessary.

We made our way back to the car, I, feeling victorious, and Haruka, brooding. After we detransformed, our silence seemed awkward for a moment. "Good battle, eh?" I asked, looking at her sidelong.

She nodded. "Should we go home, or look for another fight?"

"Well, I don't feel any particular disturbance from the sea, so I am unsure. Do you feel anything? What do you want to do?" I delivered the questions snappily, because I was feeling the adrenaline from the battle, and I wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to go home and spend the evening in her arms. I became annoyed as my rationality intruded upon my body's instincts.

She looked upset, and I immediately felt bad for my tone. "I want…" she started, and paused, before sighing, and going on, "I want to go home."

I felt sure that was not what she meant.

But home we went, and every day for the rest of the term, weeks, dull, faceless, unmemorable weeks, we went to school, and then she picked me up, and we patrolled the streets of Tokyo for youma. Almost every day we met one, or two, or sometimes more, and we developed a better sense of each other as Senshi, and learned to work exceedingly well together in battle. Each day, as we both performed beautifully, the greater length of time since our last day of being lovers did not mute our passion and desire for each other, but instead made it harder to ignore that that was what we wanted. Both of us felt that way – I could tell by the unsubtle looks she gave me, and her pride in driving up in her fast car to take me away from school, and her jealousy if I spoke of a man, and her interest in everything I did. The physical charge between us was intense after every battle. One day, a couple of days before we were scheduled to take our entrance exams to Mugen Academy, we had a particularly strenuous battle, against three youma, after looking farther away from the city than usual. We both fought well, as was always the case now, and as we made our way back to her car, which was parked off the road, in a forest, I gave way to the tension that always built between us on our afternoons together. It was too tempting, with the sun above the leaves of the trees giving everything a fairylike, sun-dappled look, and I felt it was the perfect environment for romantic things like wood nymphs, or strange wild animals. I was walking ahead of her, and as I neared the car, I detransformed, ribbons flowing around me, showing her clearly the shape and colour of my nude form, before my school uniform reappeared. I heard her intake of breath, heard her stop, but I did not turn around. I got in the car, my cheeks flooded with colour, and she followed me in after a moment, also detransformed.

She sat for a moment, staring ahead. "Michiru," she said, and I gazed at her sidelong, without turning my head, as I found myself having to do often, since I had to conceal feelings from her.

She started to say something, then stopped, then started again, and stopped, and then started the car. I felt nervous, butterflies in my stomach such as I had not had in weeks. I thought we would drive away after that, and that my impulsive flirtation had only served to strengthen our madness for each other. And then, as Haruka turned off the car again, and got out, I was suddenly afraid that I had gone too far and that she was just angry. I got out too, after a moment, and found her standing a few steps away from the car, her back to me, looking out at the woods. I watched her for a moment, enjoying the look of her, her tousled hair, her tall, thin frame in a collared white shirt, untucked over the brown pants of her uniform, her hurriedly added tie visible slightly under the back of her collar. I could tell how tense she was just from the way she was standing. "Haruka?" I said, finally.

She turned around. "Michiru," she answered, her voice barely louder than a whisper, her eyes wide and bright with emotion – she looked torn about what to do, and a little wild with the intensity of her thoughts.

I felt powerfully nervous as she walked up to me, her hands in her pockets, and then as she stood before me, gazing searchingly into my eyes. My awareness of her closeness was like a physical sensation as she took her hands out of her pockets and held them clenched in fists at her sides. We stood for a moment, our breathing fast, my thoughts racing. So suddenly that I flinched minutely, she lifted her hands and began to caress my arms, gently, lightly, at first, and then she closed the distance between us and pressed me against the car to kiss me, hard. After a moment of shock, I wound my arms around her, at which point she bit my lower lip and we kissed roughly, my tongue meeting hers and sending a shock of pleasure through me, as I felt her body pressed along the length of mine, her soft, strong heat a different feeling entirely from the cold and unrelenting feel of the car she held me against. I wanted more of that heat, after waiting so long, and though my hands were cold in the crisp autumn air, I played with the hem of her shirt, and then slipped my hand under to stroke and knead her side and warm, toned stomach, and I hoped her gasp was because of the feel of my touch on her naked skin rather than because my hand was uncomfortably cold. She caressed my back, almost painfully, almost scratching, and I was shaking and pliant under her touch. We kissed and kissed, and I brought my hand quite close to her breasts, but nervously moved around to her back, and then clasped my arms around her and after a moment longer almost collapsed against her, overcome by feeling, physical and emotional. She held me tightly as I breathed in the scent of her, my breaths shallow, thought catching up with me again. I pulled away to look into her face, but her eyes heavy and her cheeks flushed, her lips a little swollen and coloured purple from being kissed and bitten, only made me kiss her again.

I pulled away some time later, and this time looked up at her with some restraint. "Haruka…"

But she spoke before I figured out what to say. "I hate to be apart from you," she said quietly, seriously, and then kissed my hair.

"But what should we do about it?" I asked, my own voice bringing things back into perspective a little, reminding me that something other than the feeling of kissing Haruka existed around us.

At this she broke away from me a little, and looked at the ground for a moment before taking my hand, squeezing it, and then walking away to return to her seat in the car. I met her there a moment later, and we both buckled our seatbelts. "I don't know," she said before she started the car, and it took me a moment to remember that I had asked a question, and that she was answering me.

Before she drove away, she kissed me again, leaning over towards me, and while she drove, she held my hand whenever she wasn't changing gears, which made me think, after half an hour of driving like that, that perhaps this was not a unique incident brought on by some sort of spell in the forest, nor was it a fantasy of my own making. When we arrived at my apartment, she looked at me, and I said, "Stay."

She still looked unsure, so I added, "It's Saturday night, so we don't have school in the morning. You can sleep on the couch, or wherever else you like."

"Alright. I'll stay," she said, and smiled, warmly.

I leaned over and kissed her cheek, lingeringly. We made our way into my apartment holding hands, and once inside, I made a pot of tea and some soup between kisses and bits of happy conversation. We ate, talked, and slept in a haze of unconcerned affection and intimacy, completely avoiding any awkwardness about whether or not she should come to bed with me by falling asleep together, reclining on the chair in my living room.


	12. Chapter 12

Subtext

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Sailor Moon, or even this plot. A lot of times, fanfiction authors own their plot, but not me.

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_This chapter is kind of weird. For one thing, it's divided between perspectives – the first part is Haruka's, and then after the row of dashes comes Michiru's. Other than that, it's probably just not that good. I guess it's awkward material, since it's right as I'm about to get into the beginning of the series. Anyway. This is also the last of the stuff that I wrote during the summer and had squirreled away in my computer. Now that I've posted it, I have to start writing more quickly to keep up with the roughly once-a-week update schedule I'd like to maintain._

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I woke in the grey light of dawn, and became conscious of Michiru waking beside me. For a second I felt guilty about sitting up and twining my arms around her more tightly as she curled against me, her head on my chest. But after a moment of thought, I recalled that only about sixteen hours before, I had given up on my efforts to become more distant from her. Those efforts hadn't worked, and the defenses against my desire to be near her, which I had tried hard to build up over the past weeks, crumbled easily. "Good morning," I murmured, reaching up to stroke her hair.

She looked up and kissed my jaw, before sitting up and stretching. I watched her, feeling unusually content and unwilling to move. She smiled, sweetly. "Good morning. Would you like some tea?" she asked, getting up and trying to shake out her rumpled skirt into its usual pleats.

"Yes, please," I said, and added, having noticed, "You drink tea all the time."

"Do I?" she replied sleepily, wandering into the kitchen and starting her kettle.

I stood up too, and traipsed off to her bathroom. Any bathroom Michiru inhabits invariably has a lot of cosmetics ranged across the counter, and I paused a moment to wonder what on Earth all her little vials, jars, and compacts could possibly do for her. There were eyeshadows and liners of every colour I could think of – even strange colours, like red. I couldn't really imagine Michiru wearing red eyeshadow, but there it was, a little pan of bloodlike colour. There were lipsticks and glosses ranging in colour from translucent pink and shimmering nude to bold reds, purples, and even what looked like black. I didn't know what to make of it all, especially considering how exquisitely beautiful she is without any makeup at all. I wondered what she smelled like without the interference of her bottles and jars of perfumes, moisturizers, and other products.

Upon leaving the bathroom, I found Michiru sitting in the kitchen, watching the tea steep. "Did you sleep well?" I asked her, suddenly feeling shy about having lain with her all night, dreaming and unaware.

She nodded, and we drank tea as we talked about what to do, deciding to go out and spend a few hours walking around and being a little more carefree than usual, before beginning our usual patrol of the streets of Tokyo. I went home to change while she practiced her violin, and then I came back to pick her up. We walked around in a park for a while, just talking. It was extraordinarily pleasant. She had her violin, and she played for me on the stage of an empty pavilion in the park, while I sat, languidly, on one of the benches surrounding it. Around midday when we started to get hungry, Michiru went to my car and got out boxed lunches she had put together before I picked her up. It was all very peaceful, idyllic even, but we had to return to our work eventually. Around late afternoon, we got in my car and I drove out on our usual route through Tokyo, looking for a fight.

"Hey Michiru?"

She looked over at me, awaiting my question: "These youma we've been fighting… They're not exactly as epic as it seems like they would be, considering the scope of our entire mission… What else should we be looking for? How do we find out how to recognize the bearers of talismans?"

She sighed. "Well, Haruka… Honestly, I don't know. We're doing all we can, I think, and we have to keep trying to learn more, and waiting for more information to come our way."

Watching her as she spoke, it was plain to me how much it bothered her not to know. It bothered me, also, and I was much newer to all this than Michiru.

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The end of our term passed by, punctuated by entrance exams, violin concerts, races, and battles. Although we got into Mugen Academy, I performed beautifully in concert, Haruka beat all her competitors, and we won all our battles, we came no closer to understanding the puzzle of the talismans until the last week of the break between terms. In the time preceding that last week of our break, I, however, learned some things about Haruka.

Most surprisingly, she is moody. Although she seems so debonair, and collected, that's just the image she chooses to portray. Her actual character is much more melancholic. Especially during the break, when we spent most of our time patrolling for youma, I learned a lot about Haruka's moods and what influences them. By the time the new term began and it was time for us to don our unfamiliar Mugen Academy uniforms, I had realized that there were more possible outcomes of a battle than just winning or losing. Other possible outcomes, it turns out, include Haruka getting moody and retreating from her feelings for me quietly, or Haruka getting moody and yelling at me, or, best case scenario – Haruka being proud of our performance together and acting normal afterwards. I understand her point of view on distancing ourselves to help us avoid making stupid decisions in battle… but I don't quite agree with her on her method's effectiveness. I don't think it's realistic to try to deny or weaken my love for her. But, it's important to me to be supportive, and if it's what she wants, then I'm willing to try to cooperate… which is good, since she's almost impossible to argue with, anyway. Perhaps I sound cynical, but really, I am complaining more than I ought. Being around her is a sort of reason to get up each day that I never had before – the mission is infinitely important, of course, but it's joyless. Haruka, in contrast, can be so amazing to me that sometimes I hardly believe I know someone like her.

During this time, I also learned more about how strange and… romantic Haruka is. Perhaps romantic is too easy a word for what I mean. These observations mostly have to do with the way she presents herself to the world. For a shockingly forward flirt, she is amazingly private and secretive upon careful inspection. She gives away nothing definite about herself, even when she decides to charm some unsuspecting girl. I think it is because she sets her flirtatious side far apart from the Haruka who fights youma with me in hopes of saving the world. She almost uses that flirtatious skill on me, sometimes, but it's not quite the same. I say that confidently – it's not just wishful thinking. I really am different from all the other girls, even if sometimes I get upset about them.

I suppose when I say Haruka is romantic, I am partly talking about this separation of her flirtatious, light-hearted side from the side she generally shows me. But I also mean that she is romantic in the way she savors certain things, like picking me up from school, or walking with me, ladylike, on her arm. Even though she wouldn't think of admitting anything about our relationship to anyone, I know that it is one of the parts of her life she values most. In a way, this is only proved by the dark and frightening mood she slips into when we decide to try to focus only on the mission, and ignore our relationship. (When I say _we _decide, I mean _she _decides.) I may feel that she is being self-contradictory about me at times, or even hypocritical, but only when I am being unfair and self-absorbed. I know that when she flirts untowardly with every girl she comes across, it's just one facet of her personality, and not a particularly important or influential one.

Perhaps it sounds like I am rationalizing her behaviour, but how else am I to live with the jealousy and inconsistency?


	13. Chapter 13

Subtext

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

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_I haven't updated in so long! My empty assurances of once-a-week updates have haunted me every day of my absence. I've just been so busy, or so indolent – it's hard to tell now that it's over. Anyway, here's a lovely long chapter which I hope everyone reads and enjoys, regardless of how annoyed they may or may not be at me for disappearing for so long. It's Michiru's point of view, and here, I suppose, is where the Mature rating comes into play. If anyone has compliments or complaints about that part, I'm very interested in hearing about it._

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Two days before the beginning of mine and Haruka's first term at Mugen Academy, I dreamed of Silence. I had dreamed like this before, which was how I knew anything about talismans or my duties as Sailor Neptune. This time, when I awoke, I felt a dark excitement and a rush of satisfaction, because finally I knew how to look for talismans. The servants of the enemy would lead us to them.

The dream was a series of brief, tantalizing scenes in which Sailor Uranus and I watched strange, humanoid monsters attack people, extracting crystalline structures from their hearts. Even in my sleep, I strained to see further than the extraction of the crystals, but I couldn't figure out from the dream what we were supposed to do. Too quickly, the welcome images shifted into the nightmare I usually endure when I have visions about my duties. I saw everything I loved shattered by the onslaught of Silence, and awoke sweating and alert, to the realization that I could now tell Haruka something more about what we had to do.

I looked at the clock and saw it was too early to call her – 03:18. She had dropped me off at home early the previous evening. We hadn't had a battle, since we saw nothing suspicious on our evening patrol, but she was tired from winning a race earlier in the day, so she brought me to my flat almost before night had fallen. At least, she said she was tired – although I thought perhaps it had something to do with her continuing confusion about our relationship. All the confusion was indeed exhausting. It had begun to wear on my nerves, and I was trying to focus more on painting and practicing violin, letting my emotions go unexplored as much as possible.

Laying in bed proved difficult in my restless state, exhilarated as I was by my dream, and I tossed and turned for about fifteen minutes before deciding I would just call Haruka anyway. She would think it was worth waking up for, I suspected. Within moments her sleepy voice greeted me through my communicator. "Michiru? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! I had a dream about talismans. I know how to look for them now!"

"What? How?" she asked, no longer sounding sleepy.

"Well… My dream was fragmentary, but it looks like monsters, monsters which look a little like women, will find victims. They extract crystals from the victims, and we have to get those crystals away from the monsters and assess them."

"But how will we know if they're talismans? What do the talismans look like?"

I paused. That was one of the things I hadn't been able to work out from my dream, though I had tried to cling to each scene, to keep it from dissipating before I could see how to identify a talisman. "I'm not sure yet," I answered hesitantly.

"So what should we do? How can we figure it out? Will we just know?"

I had no idea. But in the past, things had worked out that way for me when they were related to my duties as a Senshi – sometimes I just knew things. I told her as much, and we ended our conversation on a note of nervous and unsure excitement. I couldn't sleep at all after that, and instead I got up and painted a scene of Silence, an image that haunted me nearly all the time, ever since I had first dreamed it.

As soon as it was light, Haruka arrived at my door. I let her in and she looked inquiringly at my nearly finished painting. "Silence," I explained, and she looked more closely.

"That's what you see, when you see it?"

I nodded. "Like what I showed you so long ago on that cruise ship."

She looked pensive, and sat down in my armchair. I turned back to my painting, adding final touches to it, while she watched me. When it seemed finished I went into the kitchen to wash my hands and brushes, leaving Haruka still sitting in some sort of a reverie. I was feeling introspective, from painting and not sleeping enough, so when I went back in, I lay on the couch quietly. We both sat without speaking for a while, and gradually I began to fall asleep.

When I awoke, Haruka and the blanket from my bed lay warmly on top of me. I was disturbed to realise that I could have been so deeply asleep that someone could lie down on top of me without waking me, but then I thought that it wasn't just anyone – it was Haruka. Sneaking in through my surprise at this evidence of how much I trusted her came my awareness that while I might be perfectly peaceful with her on top of me while I was asleep, once I was awake, her weight upon me and her figure pressed against my own made me feel something very different from peaceful. I felt warmth rise in my cheeks, as my hands, almost without my consent, shifted under the blankets to run along her sides and find soft, warm skin under the hem of her shirt. Gently, I touched her lower back and her jutting hips, the skin there warm under the blanket but uncovered by the low line of her jeans. My touches awakened her slowly, and I felt her shift against me, as my breathing became even more shallow and nervous than it already had been.

She had been skittish, lately, as if afraid we would go too far if she let me touch her for long. I wondered, nervously, if she would get up now that we were both awake and my hands gripped her bare hips. But she didn't get up immediately; she rose up on her elbows to kiss me. A moment later she broke the kiss and nestled into my shoulder sleepily. It was adorable, and I hugged her tightly and kissed her hair. "Haruka? Should we go out to hunt these new enemies?"

I felt her sigh, and then nod. She got up reluctantly, and I felt unpleasantly cold without her. We had slept for a long time; when we went outside I realised it was almost evening. "Our new term starts so soon," I observed once we were driving, as Haruka gazed moodily out at the road and sped past every other car around.

"The uniforms aren't so bad, eh?"

I smiled. "No, not bad at all. Especially the boy's uniform."

She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek at a stoplight. We talked a little more about school, and wondered aloud a bit about how we would recognize talismans. But wonder as we might, we met no enemies that evening. When night had long since fallen and we were beginning to become tired of driving around without finding anything, Haruka began to look thoughtful. "Want to come over tonight?" she asked after a moment, in a tentative tone.

At my positive reply, she sped off toward her apartment. We both sat quietly for the drive there, immersed in thought. I was thinking about how I was surprised she had asked me to come over, since I thought she had been trying to avoid being alone with me if it might be for a prolonged period of time. Certainly this sounded risky, considering I was sure she knew I could easily end up staying with her all night. Maybe she finally felt ready? I glanced over at her, wondering, and she was too intent on her own thoughts, and perhaps her driving, to notice me. My eyes traced her shadowed features, then slipped down, taking in her tight dress shirt, open over the perfect skin of her throat and part of her chest, then clinging tightly to full breasts and taut stomach muscles. She's so fit that each line and angle of her body is quite sharp, with almost no softness, even in the space between her tight shirt and low jeans. At a glance, only her breasts are curved, and the rest of her is all angles. She's very beautiful, and looking at her then, I remembered my wish to have her model for me.

As I reflected on her loveliness, we reached her apartment and she escorted me inside. We sat on her couch, and she brought up battle tactics. We talked happily of past battles for a while, discussed our elemental attacks as well as martial arts, and drank tea. Every time either of us got up and then came to sit back down on the couch, we ended up closer together, until finally, having just come back from the bathroom, and seeing Haruka look at me appreciatively and shyly as I walked across the room, I became very bold, and instead of taking my own seat, I took matters into my own hands and straddled her, kissing her fiercely to hide my blushing nervousness.

She responded unreservedly. We kissed until she pulled away to bite my neck instead and raised her hand up to cup one of my breasts through my thin cotton dress. I pressed my face into her hair and tightened my bare thighs around her as she kneaded my chest and sucked on the delicate skin of my throat. Having taken the lead, she pushed me down to lie on my back, arranging herself on top of me, and then she kissed me again, our tongues meeting tentatively this time, which rarely happened then – the shy rendezvous suggested by my brushing of her lower lip, which I had been biting, with mine.

Amid all her fervent caresses, Haruka had hardly had leisure to notice that I was slowly unbuttoning that tight dress shirt I'd been eyeing secretly all night. Once I had it completely unbuttoned, she seemed almost to think of protesting as I started to slip it off of her, but she relented, and helped me. She tried to kiss me again, but I was too distracted by newly revealed golden skin – her arms slim and well-muscled, holding her up over me; her breasts round and full, bound by a bra of black lace; and her flat, alluringly toned stomach, the rippling muscles of which I immediately had my hand upon. She laughed a little as she noticed that I was evading her lips to stare at her body, and I looked back up at her, meeting her eyes for the first time in a while. Her face was flushed from all we'd been doing, and her sand-coloured hair was in her eyes. She was smiling down at me, and I smiled back, slowly, winding my arms around her. Suddenly I felt very shy.

"Michiru…" she murmured, "Shouldn't you move in with me, now that we'll be going to the same school, and fighting the same battles?"

I supposed I looked surprised as I considered it, because she launched into more explanation, looking concerned: "I mean, I live much nearer to Mugen Academy, and I would want to drive you there anyway, and we'll be fighting together every day, too…"

She stopped as I put my finger to her lips, and I sat up to kiss her, before pulling her down to lie with her head on my shoulder, my arms around her, so I could whisper in her ear. "Of course I'll come live with you," I said softly, and nibbled on the ear, at which she gasped softly before rising and guiding me up with her to sit on her lap.

"Is that okay with you?" she asked, and elaborated, "Will you get annoyed with me if you have to spend so much time around me?"

"I think it'll be fine, since you spend some time racing, and I spend time pursuing my own activities. We won't be together much more than we already are."

She looked happy and adorable as she added, resting her head on my chest, "We have similar habits, too, concerning cleaning and that kind of thing."

I felt that this was a good point, but I wasn't ready to give up on what we'd been doing earlier. I leaned down to kiss her again from my position on her lap, and ran my hands along her sides and back, enjoying the feeling of so much soft skin over hard bone and muscle, and nervously reaching around to unclasp her bra. As terrifying as this forwardness of mine was, the reward for it was my first sight of Haruka's naked breasts, which I immediately felt was more than worth my nerves. She looked nervous as well, so to distract her, I kissed her again, biting her lower lip rather hard, and exploring the round softness of her uncovered chest with one hand as I sought a nipple to attack. I found her left one, and elicited a gasp from her, and a stifled moan into the kiss we'd been sharing, as I rubbed it into erect hardness. As I felt more boldness come from somewhere, I pushed her back to half-lie against the couch, and leaned down to first kiss the same teased nipple, and then lick and suck as I heard the way Haruka moaned. I moved to her other side as she began to touch me, trying to figure out how to open my dress, and waited until I had given her right side equal attention before I stood up, untied the bow that held my wraparound dress together, and let the blue fabric fall open, revealing my very nearly nude form. Haruka's eyes raked up and down my body, taking in my creamy skin and lithe figure before she stood up with me, slipped my dress the rest of the way off to fall at our feet, and pulled me close against her, pressing our bare skin together in a way I thought extremely sensual.

We stood embracing – both of us, I suspected, too nervous to unwind our arms and try anything else. Finally I tilted my face up to kiss her, and through all my shyness I felt a strong want for her. But I couldn't imagine either of us going very much farther this night. As I thought about it, I wondered how in the world we two girls could decide that this was a reasonable use of our time together. Suddenly it seemed such a phenomenon to me, who was normally so occupied either in trying to figure out how to save the world, or with art, to be so deep in interaction with someone else. The girl in my arms, I felt sure, was where she was supposed to be, pressed against me nearly naked and in love with me as I was in love with her, and all the intensity of this addition to my formerly quiet life, which was so novel, and so welcome, hit me rather strangely. She sensed my change in mood, and pulled away a little to look at me, smiling and inquisitive. "What're you thinking of, Michiru?"

"Hard to say, my dear," I answered her, kissing her on the cheek. "I think I'm mostly thinking how good this is."

I leaned into her shoulder, and before I could stop myself, yawned. "Bored?!" Haruka exclaimed, teasing me.

"No! Never! I'm just tired!" I defended myself, looking up at her in feigned consternation.

"With good reason," Haruka answered, and to my surprise, she picked me up and began carrying me off toward her room. "It's after midnight," she added, kissing my hair.

She set me down on the bed, unzipped and removed her jeans, and then lay down beside me and held my hand, both of us wearing only pretty underwear. I had an idea that very soon, we wouldn't stop here, but our desire just to sleep tonight was mutual, and we did not need to discuss it. "I better go clean up in the other room," she said, sighing, and got up again. "I'll be right back."

When she came back with our clothes, I was in her bathroom washing my face, and we prepared to go to sleep together. She led me into her bed, and lay down behind me, arms wrapped around me, and kissing my hair, bid me goodnight. "In the morning, we better go get my clothes and things from my apartment," I noted, and she hugged me closer, agreeing happily.

We fell asleep quickly, pressed warm against each other, thinking not at all of our cares – only remembering the closeness and pleasure of our evening.


	14. Chapter 14

Subtext

Disclaimer: remains the same.

_This chapter doesn't really contain much action – some, I guess, but not a lot. In the anime, Sailor Uranus and, to a slightly lesser degree, Sailor Neptune, have an intensity of devotion to their mission pretty much unparalleled by any of the other Senshi. This chapter is Haruka's perspective, and continues my previous efforts to explore and explain that sometimes obstinate dedication, as well as their work in balancing their relationship and their duty. So I hope it's not boring, but it might be a little. Also, at this point, references to the anime come up rather often. Anyone who isn't quite familiar with the Sailor Moon S arc might feel a little confused at times, but I'm very willing to answer any questions._

I woke up early in the morning, as the grey light of dawn was just beginning to light my room, and found Michiru still asleep against me. Strands of aqua hair ranged across the pillows of my bed, and the outline of her slim form was visible through the blankets. Remembering how undressed we were, I got up quietly and selected a small white t-shirt and baggy jeans from my closet. Unsure what clothes of mine Michiru would want to wear, I settled for laying her dress from the night before across the bed so she would find it when she woke up, and then I started a bath. I hadn't gotten to that the night before, and I looked forward to the time to think calmly.

Lying back in the warm water, I considered the night before, and how it fit into the past weeks, and its implications for my relationship with Michiru, and for our relationship with our fate. There had been the period, weeks or months earlier, when we had focused only on fighting, and had been physically completely separate. Obviously I had not maintained that. I gave way, in the forest. In the ensuing weeks, there were much shorter periods during which I forced myself into distance from her, but always, after a successful battle, my resistance crumbled. Distance just didn't seem necessary enough, after a strong win, to overcome my longing after her. This, I knew, was a symptom of my uncertainty about the best course for our relationship considering all the danger we constantly faced and would continue to face.

And then, also worthy of my attention, was the way I'd been avoiding her slightly, for some time, until the previous day – something I knew she had noticed, and which was also not as directly related to fights as usual. Instead, I'd been doing it because I recognized that our physical intimacy would soon take a different course. We had spent many long hours kissing and touching each other over the weeks, and on each separate occasion, we became more knowledgeable of each other, and of the way we fit together. Each time, as our intimacy increased both physically and in our other interactions, our touches seemed to become more bold. I wasn't sure how sex would affect us, but I knew I would soon find out. My suspicions were that it would make it pretty much impossible to choose our mission over protecting each other, if it came to that in battle again, as I knew it would. There is something about the mutual trust which that act of sex would be affirming that I could tell would make itself a problem on the battlefield. But, although I thought it perhaps a flaw in myself and my loyalty to our mission, I knew that I would throw caution to the winds and willingly submit myself to Michiru as she was ready to submit herself to me.

It occurred to me that I didn't exactly think less of Michiru for placing me before her mission in the heat of battle, although I would judge myself more harshly. I didn't lose respect for her when she did things like that, even if it made me angry and scared, and even though if I got hurt doing some of the impulsive and unnecessary things she had done for me in battle, I'd be full of self-loathing. Several things seemed to point towards her way, in which we were as close as we pleased once away from the battlefield, being the better one, but I still wasn't ready to choose for sure one way or the other. Going day by day seemed to be working well enough, and I needed more evidence for one of our choices before I could be decisive. The only thing I felt I really needed to bring up with her was a reminder that even though we would be facing new enemies, we had to make sure we didn't jeopardize our mission for each other. It seemed that perhaps we could work out a compromise, in which we were close, but remembered our proper priorities in battle.

I felt content, having put my thoughts in order, and knowing that Michiru was nearby. With that in mind, and noticing that the water of my bath was becoming quite cool, I climbed out, drained it, and dressed.

Outside the bathroom, I found a carefully made bed, but no Michiru. I wandered in search of her, rubbing my dripping hair with a towel, and found her in the kitchen, just beginning to make breakfast. She smiled at me in the kitchen doorway from her position at the stove, and I reminded her that she was welcome to make use of my bathing facilities, and asked if I could help with her cooking. "Umm… Could you show me where you keep pots and pans?" she asked, and I thought she looked nervous. I realised that my tone had been a bit cold and formal, although what I had said was certainly pleasant enough.

Not knowing how best to ease her discomfort, I simply guided her to the required cabinet, thinking that even our minutest interactions were coloured by this tension between either letting everything be easy between us, or maintaining some distance out of respect for our duties as Senshi. I hid behind a booklet of information about Mugen Academy which I found lying on the counter while I thought about this. Michiru saw what I was looking at, and in a valiant effort to break the thick silence and start a comfortable conversation, said, "Tomorrow ought to be exciting, right?"

I looked up from the booklet, and saw that she still appeared unsure of herself, probably, I guessed, because she was unsure of how I felt about her this morning. Trying to look less alarming, I agreed with her, adding, "We should immediately develop a new routine for hunting talismans. If only one of us would have another dream…"

She looked less nervous, since my tone had been teasing, and I went back to my Mugen Academy information, sitting down at the little table I kept in the kitchen. It really would have been nice if one of us could get a clearer idea of what we were supposed to be doing, but I had almost entirely stopped having dreams of my fate after I met Michiru. It was almost as if I had just had the vague dreams so that I would recognize her, but then the powers that directed us had thought her better fit for premonitions. I agreed with them, and did not at all miss the haunting dreams of Silence in which I had seen a slender girl with aqua hair descend from the heavens, a girl whom I recognized almost immediately when I finally met her – even though she was wearing only a dull school uniform, not glimmering amid the destruction of Tokyo on that fateful day after I raced Elza Gray. The crushing feeling of foreboding I had associated with my destiny then was nearly gone now that I understood it better, and now that I knew Michiru. Thinking how grateful I was to her for easing my transition from famous racer, obsessed with speed, to Sailor Senshi, obsessed with duty, I was again struck by the constant tension between affection for her and devotion to our quest. My gratitude must necessarily be overruled by the very duty she helped me handle. I resolved to mention my bath-thoughts to her right then, so I looked up at her with a grave expression as she set a cup in front of me and another at the place across from me, and poured tea for each of us. "Michiru?"

She met my gaze, still looking a little wary. I tried to half-smile in what I hoped was a comforting way, and then I embarked on my speech. "I was just thinking, Michiru, about how we'll soon be facing new enemies. We're getting closer to finding the talismans, now that you've dreamed of the crystals the enemy will extract from victims' hearts. But I suspect our new quarry must be different from the simple monsters we've hunted in the past, since this enemy has a plan and a goal. We may have more trouble with them than we've had before. But Michiru – we have to put our mission first. The danger we will face together may be even greater than before, and so we have to be extremely careful that one of us always survives to continue our search for talismans. Silence is approaching, and we can stop it, but not if we die in battle. So if one of us is captured, or in mortal danger, we cannot risk letting the battle end in both of our deaths. We must leave each other behind if it comes to that. We must promise each other that we will put the mission before any other concern, my dear."

While I was telling her all this, she had taken the seat across from me, and she was looking troubled, arms crossed on the table, head resting upon them, looking up at me. She seemed charmingly, childishly sullen. I reached across the table and traced the lines of her arms to her hands, which I held, gently tugging them out from under her so she had to sit up and look at me directly. "Do you agree that this is what we should do?"

She looked still more troubled, but replied seriously after a moment of thoughtful silence. "Certainly I see your point that one of us at least must survive every battle and go on with our mission. But how are we supposed to judge if the risk of a rescue attempt is too severe, if, for example, one of us is captured?"

This was a difficult question, since we really had very little idea what our new enemies would be like. "I guess we can't tell yet what we'll be up against. For now, we will just have to rely on our judgment – which we must do our best to keep objective and realistic – to tell us if we can fight our way out of a bad situation or if we have to run."

"And how will we keep our judgment, when it concerns each other, objective and realistic?"

"By devotion to our mission. We must keep that constantly in the foreground of our thoughts. But right now, I think that at least in my case, trying to remain distant from you as I've tried before would make my judgment worse, because I think it would drive me insane," I answered gallantly, trying to look flirtatious again, and not so serious.

The gravity of the discussion was broken, and Michiru smiled brightly at me for a moment before coming around the table to sit on my lap and kiss me. I kissed her back, but sooner than I wanted to, pulled back a little to look at her seriously again. "So Michiru, let us swear that we'll always put our mission first, that we will always make sure that one of us can go on seeking talismans, and that we will not let our emotions for each other get us caught. Will you swear?"

She looked at me mournfully, and it occurred to me to add, "Don't think it would be easy for me to leave you behind, either. I know it seems like I'm more set on all this than you, but you know I haven't yet been in a situation where I had to make such a choice. I can come up with all these promises because the only thing more painful for me to imagine than leaving you to die is the failure of our mission. You've actually experienced situations where your instinct was to defend me at your expense, so I understand that you feel that more poignantly than I can. Still, even though it's all theory for me, part of me cries out that nothing can be worse than trying to live this life without you, and that I shouldn't promise not to try to protect you even if it's extremely dangerous. But when I start to succumb to thoughts like that, I am eventually overcome with the horror of Silence, and I know that I am selfish, but that I must, without fail, remember that my ultimate priority is finding the talismans."

By her expression I could tell that when I told her this, I eliminated fears which she would not have voiced. It was fine with me that she wanted affirmation of my feelings for her. I could not think her selfish for it, because I knew that if she were not so obvious in her regard for me, I would worry as much as she did. It would have been terrible, excruciatingly so, to be used and unloved by the person with whom fate had placed her. She reached down to take one of my hands in hers, and examined it, to excuse her from avoiding my eyes. "I understand, Haruka. And I swear to make sure that completion of the mission is foremost in my thoughts and desires, even if it means thinking first of myself when you are in danger. I swear that my feelings for you will not endanger our mission, if I can in any way prevent it."

Her 'if I can in any way prevent it' didn't slip by me, but I didn't think I could get a stronger promise out of her. We were both quiet, as she held my hand and I watched her, suspecting that she might cry and not sure how to console her. Soon she looked up at me, her expression pensive. "And you swear it, too, Haruka? I hope you don't think I am not truly putting the mission first. I am. I wish everything was not so grim, but I know that fulfilling our duty is the way to achieve the peace I wish for."

"I see what you mean, and yes, I swear it, too. And we can do this – we'll find the talismans and stave off Silence. Surely the task wouldn't be allotted to us if it were impossible for us to complete?"

"I don't know about that. Whatever fate there is, I can't begin to comprehend it. I don't trust it to protect us like that, but I think nonetheless that we really are strong enough to finish the fight. When we know more about our enemies, perhaps I will feel more hopeful. Who is to say that fate is on our side, after all, Haruka? But I won't ever give up."

During most of the conversation before she said this, I had felt a little like the mature figure trying to coax an unhappy child, but now she had risen to meet the challenge, and once again I was aware of her as my partner and my equal. It was wonderful that there were two of us, because we could rely on each other to drag us back out of doubt and worry. In the event that one of us was killed, it would be infinitely harder to keep fighting and searching, because not only was it a tactical advantage in battle to have a team, but at home, away from battle, we needed each other for support. If everything had been up to me, and no Michiru had come to convince me to pursue my fate instead of running from it, how long might it have been before I was ready? Similarly, without my energy and dedication, I could tell that it had been hard for Michiru to keep herself from feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. We needed each other, and although I knew we were doing the right thing in promising to avoid sacrificing ourselves for each other, because someone had to be left to finish our mission, I also knew that without the other, our chances of success would be horribly diminished. I tightened my arms around Michiru, and felt her kiss my hair. When I released my grip a little, she sighed, and slid off my lap to go to the stove and serve our breakfast.

Later, while I did the dishes for her, we resolved to pick up some of her belongings from her apartment to move to mine, and then to go out looking for our newly-revealed opponents.


	15. Chapter 15

Subtext

Disclaimer: remains the same even after all this time.

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_I know it's been shockingly long since I updated, and I'm sorry. I'm not even going to get into why I've been so slow to update, except for the one relevant thing: I was in Japan for a while, and now that I know a little more about what the place I'm writing about is actually like, I might have to change things around a little. Hopefully it won't mess with my continuity at all, but there it is. I don't feel as happy with this chapter as I've felt with some, but I really want to get something up, so I hope it's okay. Let me know what you all think!_

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It turned out, upon my close inspection, that Michiru did not really have many belongings, making it seem all the more reasonable that we share an apartment. She wanted more time before actually giving up her apartment and moving her few items of furniture and such, but when we stopped to pick up her stuff, she only wanted her school supplies, her violin, her surprisingly few clothes, and her shockingly large makeup collection. When I say she has surprisingly few clothes, I don't mean that she doesn't have a lot more than I do. I simply mean her wardrobe wasn't as enormous a burden as I anticipated, based on how much makeup I had seen in her bathroom. Perhaps because she is a painter, makeup has more of an appeal for her than clothing? Hard to say, really, but whatever the reason, all her clothes fit in my car.

Back at my apartment, everything absorbed easily enough into the space I had in my bathroom and closet. When we finished bringing things in from my car, our thoughts went to hunting for talismans, as they inevitably did whenever we had a moment of peace. We went out in my car, enjoying the midafternoon sun, trying to sense anything that might be going on and checking on places even though we didn't sense anything. Since the new term at school would start the next day, many students were out trying to get every bit of fun they could from their last day of free time, and the streets were very crowded. But even with all the crowds and excitement, we could find nothing that required our attention. This lull in enemy activity made us both nervous and put me in a temper. I wanted a fight.

Eventually we went to the sports center which Michiru frequented for its large swimming pool, and I worked out pretty savagely for a couple hours while she swam. Imagining her sleek form swimming with such grace and skill while I expended some of my excess energy calmed me down, and eventually, exhausted, I went to lie by the pool and watch Michiru. After a few minutes, she came to the side of the pool where I lay and beckoned to me to come closer, just like some mermaid in a story, her long hair wavy and beautiful even when it was wet, with water streaming from it in pretty rivulets down her chest and back. Probably no one, and certainly not I, could resist so lovely a vision - clear aqua eyes and milky skin – and so, tired as I was by this point, I got up and came to the edge. She reached up to take my hand and pulled gently, and accepting the invitation, I kicked off my shoes and slipped out of the shorts I'd worn for the gym, sliding into the water. If anyone else had been there, I would have been too dignified to get into a public swimming pool in my underwear and a sweaty white t-shirt with sleeves cut off, but it was getting late, and it was just us. We swam together, lazily, and I enjoyed watching her swim from the water instead of from my usual position at the side of the pool. Water is definitely her element. But it's not mine, and tiring pretty quickly, I went to the edge to lean on it sleepily while I watched her. She came to me after a while and wrapped her arms around me underwater, leaning against me and kissing my neck. "Are you ready to go home?" she whispered in my ear, and the feeling gave me chills in the cold water.

I was, and so was she, so we climbed out, and sharing her towel, made our way back to my car. At my apartment, we laid out our uniforms in preparation for our first day at Mugen Academy. We were both tired from the day of hunting and the evening at the sports center, as well as pensive because of our hopes and concerns surrounding our infiltration of Mugen Academy, and in this listless state we eventually went to bed and fell asleep, my arm protectively encircling Michiru as she slept with her head upon my shoulder. She fell asleep before me – I could tell by the steadiness of her light breathing – and I lay for a while, stroking her hair idly and thinking. I was still worrying about the conversation we'd had that morning. Michiru had pointed out that we couldn't trust that fate was on our side. I wondered what powers controlled or influenced all the things that happened to us – not so much the general question of religion or faith, but what gave us our power, and what produced our henshin pens, and on what was presumably the opposing side of whatever force did all this, what created youma, and what made our new enemies in Michiru's dream possible? Talismans were supposed to be things from legends, not mysterious but real items hunted by secret warrior high school students. I finally fell asleep, worrying about these things and full of misgivings about our actual ability to do what we needed to do effectively, especially as ignorant as we were of the details and history of our mission. Michiru had mentioned dreams of past lives to me, and I had had dreams that I thought I could interpret as that sort of thing, but we were still distressingly unsure of what we were doing.

Perhaps as some sort of solace for all my worrying, that night I dreamed a shadowy and tantalizing dream about our mission. I saw dimly what I understood to be the talismans, though when I woke I couldn't quite remember what I had seen. Another concern for us came out of that dream – knowledge of the Holy Grail. I saw the talismans, and they were objects, and I also saw what in my dream I understood was called the Holy Grail. Though I couldn't be sure of the details or the process, it seemed as if the talismans, brought together, created this Grail, and it was more desirable and more powerful than the talismans themselves. It, I thought, must be the thing that would bring Silence upon us or prevent it. I woke with the image of the Holy Grail still very clear in my mind, but any memory of the objects that were the talismans had definitely escaped me, except that I knew they were definitely objects, and I felt pretty sure they were three different ones.

I decided I better wake Michiru immediately with this information. I disentangled myself from her to lean on one arm, looking down at her and stroking her cheek, appreciating her exquisitely soft and perfect skin even in my distraction over my dream. "Michiru," I whispered, and her eyes fluttered open immediately, confused by sleep, but already curious and quickly becoming alert.

"Are you alright?" she asked quickly, looking at my tangled hair and excited expression.

"Of course, but I had a dream, maybe an important one, if it can be trusted," I replied, and launched into an explanation of it.

By the time I finished explaining, she was sitting up in bed, and I had gotten up and was pacing. "The Holy Grail," she murmured, trying out the words thoughtfully, and then added, "Well, Haruka, you mentioned you were unsure if the dream could be trusted. What do you think? Did it feel like a premonition, or just a dream brought on by all our talk and concern over the shape of the talismans and how to find them?"

I thought this over. "It didn't seem like a normal dream, really. But I don't have a lot of premonitions, so I can't be quite sure."

Michiru reached out to me, and taking my hand, led me to sit beside her on the bed. "It sounds like more than just a dream. I think we may as well trust it. It can't hurt, really, and I'm guessing that since you've seen them in a dream now, even if you don't consciously remember what the talismans looked like, you'll recognize them when they're before you."

I sighed. "I hope so," and suddenly feeling quite frustrated, added rather angrily, "I'm tired of all this damn hunting without knowing how to track our quarry or what to do when we find it! It's awful to keep going on blindly like this, maybe not even in the right direction. I want to find the first fight and get on with this! I hope it happens tomorrow, or this is going to drive me crazy."

I got up and went to the window, running my hands through my hair. Looking out at the city's bright lights, I hoped I wasn't making things harder for Michiru, but I meant what I said. This waiting and fruitlessly looking around the city was a bit much. But as I gazed outside, I felt calmer, and by the time Michiru came up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders and kissing my neck, I was ready to lean into her caresses, and after enjoying them for a few minutes, I turned around, caught her in my arms, and kissed her. But as our kiss deepened, and I slid one hand down her back to her ass, she pulled back a little and looked slightly stern. "If we don't go back to bed, we will not seem like our famed usual selves tomorrow for our first day at Mugen Academy. You know, model pupils with immaculate personal lives."

"Other people may not, but I think this is perfectly immaculate," I retorted.

"So do I, Haruka, as you know. But that's not my point."

I knew that too, and resigned, I let her lead me back to bed, and we curled up together, sleeping through the rest of the night without incident.


	16. Chapter 16

Subtext

Disclaimer: Things I don't do include owning Sailor Moon and making any money from writing about Sailor Moon.

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_It turns out that I'm completely incapable of making regular or frequent updates. I'm sorry. I hope any readers I have left enjoy this chapter, and while I have serious plans for the next chapter, I can't even guess when it will be up. My new semester at university starts in a couple days, and it could have the effect of not letting me write at all because I have so much homework, or making me write all the time in order to avoid my homework. As I re-watch the series for the 2934892834th time, I keep having to awkwardly insert bits of plot which I forgot to plan for before Subtext began to overlap with the actual anime. Let me know what you all think._

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Michiru and I were in different classes, so we planned a lunchtime rendezvous and agreed to meet at my car after school. After we bathed and dressed, I drove us to school and (proudly) parked my car in a shady parking space, already getting the attention of many young schoolgirls trying to delay their inevitable return to class after this most recent break. A group of them lingering on a sidewalk complained audibly when they saw Michiru get out of my passenger seat. I couldn't help but smirk a little, but Michiru steadfastly ignored it all, at least until she was about to leave me at the door of my classroom. It was open, and girls were whispering and glancing at me, as they tend to do. "See you at lunch, Haruka!" Michiru said brightly, and quite loudly enough for the girls to hear.

I wasn't sure her possessive efforts would be effective. But of course I'm never truly tempted to stray – I just enjoy the attentions of my fans, never with any serious intentions for anyone but Michiru.

Class was uneventful, and I was very happy to find Michiru when our break for lunch began. While we were eating, she brought up something interesting. "Haruka," she began, "do you ever dream of a princess?"

"I often have. You, too?"

"It's another part of our mission. I don't know how it fits with talismans and the Grail, but I guess we'll figure that out, too."

"How do you know it's another part of our mission? Did you have another dream?"

"Not exactly. I was just thinking about different dreams I've had that seem like premonitions, and the dreams I've had of a princess fit with them, so I was thinking it must be part of it all."

Michiru's intuition is eternally amazing. I do well in school, but my brain just doesn't work like hers. In her dreamy, artistic mind she comes to an understanding of things that I can only admire, as if through the sea-mist of her mind things loom up sharply and suddenly when she needs to see them.

After lunch I made my way back to my class, sighing and wishing it was time to go. School is not exactly a problem, but it's tedious. At least we were attending Mugen Academy to spy on it, but the time we had to spend just blending in was bound to be boring. I spent my time in class idly drawing in the margins of my notes, waiting for class to end. When we were finally allowed to go, I hastened back to the parking lot to meet Michiru. My car's top was up, and of course my windows are darkened just a little bit past the legal limit, so when we were inside, I leaned across the divide between our seats and kissed Michiru, butterflies flooding my stomach at my own indiscretion in a place barely screened from the public. Her mouth was warm and soft, the taste of her addictive and especially attractive after a day spent without her.

From here the day went crazy. When we'd stopped kissing, I started the car and we went driving around the city, looking for trouble. Michiru, ever intuitive, recommended that we stop near a particular shrine popular for little things like love charms, but, I remembered hearing, once warned against in a periodical for girls because of the inappropriate leering of its old keeper. We were enjoying the peaceful forest air, wondering aloud when we would ever figure out what exactly we were supposed to be doing, when from a distance we heard a scream. "Finally," I murmured, as we set off at a run.

As we got closer, we heard many girl's voices raised in alarm, and we stopped at a safe distance to transform. I was about to charge ahead, but Sailor Neptune caught my arm. "We can't be hasty about this. If it's what we're looking for, we have to wait and let the monster do the work on the victim, and then defeat the monster."

Listening to the screams and fighting, I began to think seriously about what all this would mean for the victim, and I suspected the worst. Removing a crystal from someone, as Michiru had said would happen, sounded painful at best, and I was worried. We would be at the very least prolonging someone's pain, and I thought of all kinds of horrible possibilities.

When we were at the scene of the fight, we scaled a tree so we could stay out of sight but still watch most of what was going on. Mostly what we saw was a bunch of middle school girls and a man in a strange outfit, all tied up, gazing helplessly in horror and tears at a monster looming over a shrine maiden with long black hair. A beautiful crystal structure floated above the prostrate girl, and as the monster took it, I wasted no more time and performed World Shaking. Sailor Neptune followed my attack closely with Deep Submerge, and our enemy was vanquished. I swooped down to collect the crystal before the poor girl's unfortunate friends could take it, and returned to the trees before they knew what was going on. We examined it together. I was afraid to handle something so lovely and fragile-looking, and I was disturbed by the rather dead look of the pretty girl from whom it had been extracted, but I knew we had to be ruthless. Luckily for the girl and her friends, the crystal was not a talisman, as far as we could tell. It was just a crystal, not any kind of item, and we had no special feeling for it, so I didn't want to keep it from its owner any longer. "This isn't a talisman," I said to Sailor Neptune, who nodded.

"The enemy chose the wrong target," she said, agreeing.

"A trip wasted," I complained, as I tossed the crystal back towards its owner and hoped she was still breathing.*

Before we left, we watched the victim's blonde friend crying over her as she revived. They were an interesting bunch of girls – five in total, all pretty, if a bit tear-stained, and all so worried about their friend. I don't remember if I had even an odd feeling when I first saw those girls, even the slightest hint of a premonition of what they would become to us. But even then, I was glad they hadn't lost one of their number to our mission. I always tried to ignore thoughts like that, since I doubted that whoever did happen to have the talismans would be so horrible that I wouldn't be sorry they had to die. If their hearts were so pure, they were unlikely to deserve such a fate, and yet it was our duty to inflict it upon them if we could. Seeing that pretty girl lying deathly pale on the ground made it all seem less pleasant than ever.

I decided not to discuss this with Michiru as we made our way back home. We were both very quiet – shaken by the strange fight, and, I guessed, haunted by similar thoughts. It was getting dark when I pulled up outside my apartment. Michiru made no move to get out of the car. "Are you ready to go in?" I asked gently.

She sighed, and just said, "That was hard."

I sighed too. "But we have to do it."

"But what if that girl had had a talisman?"

"We would have taken it."

"And she would have died?"

"She would have died."

"We're going to save the world, but not everyone in it?"

"Mmhmm. The world, but not everyone in it."

"Is that alright to do?"

"Is there another way?"

"What if there is?"

"We only know about this way."

"Are you so cold that you can say it so easily?"

I knew she didn't mean to say something like that, and that she was just upset, so I said nothing. She apologized almost immediately. "I'm sorry, Haruka… You're not cold, and it's not easy for you. You're just stronger."

"Don't worry. I know you're upset, and so am I. And I'm not stronger… Think of how long it took me to accept my fate."

"But even if it took you longer to accept, you've accepted it more fully than I have."

It was dark outside by now. "We have different strengths, my dear. And by the end of this, I think we will both know their limitations."

Her mood changed suddenly – the tide flowing out again. "Let's go somewhere distracting, Haruka. I don't want to take these thoughts inside."

I quite agreed with this idea. I had foreseen some of the things I dreaded about relationships taking place if we went home like this – long, serious talks and crying. I should have known Michiru wasn't the kind of girl to subject me to something like that. Relieved, I restarted the car and pulled out, heading for a certain pretty park I knew of. When we arrived, I parked in a side-street so no nighttime patrols or anyone like that would guess that someone might be in the park after hours, if we happened to stay late. We got out of the car, and with Michiru on my arm, we strolled up to the quiet, deserted park. Through benches, trees, and shrubbery, we meandered arm-in-arm, enjoying light conversation and each other's company undisturbed. Eventually, when it was getting rather late, we came upon a fountain, beautiful in the moonlight.** To my surprise, Michiru, after standing in front of it with me for a moment, disengaged her arm from mine, kicked off her shoes, and waded into the water. She looked at me, smiled at my slightly shocked expression, and turned around again to step further into the water. She stood for a while facing away from me, as the wind tossed her hair and skirt about and made ripples in the water. It was a scene so lovely I don't know if anything could have dragged my eyes away.

After a while, she turned again and walked back to the edge, close to me. I held out my hand, and she took it and climbed out. We sat on a nearby bench to wait for her to dry enough to put her shoes on again, and resumed our conversation from before her fountain adventure, which I did not comment upon. I couldn't think how to tell her it was beautiful without sounding ridiculous, and I didn't know what else to say. Eventually we were kissing.

Not wanting to stay out too late on a school night, and always shy of getting caught, we soon returned home, and went to bed effectively distracted.

* This bit is adapted from the first episode of the third season of the anime.

** This is a reference to a popular image of the two of them. I have a few references like that in this story, since I write a lot of it using pictures as a sort of structure to remind me of what's supposed to happen.


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